Cheating Ourselves at Solitaire
by EmelyeUchiha
Summary: "Her lips are smooth like they used to be," he thought...He feared that she'd never be able to get close to anyone as she had with her two best friends, "It's sad, because she's actually kinda beautiful…" Seddie. ON HIATUS
1. iHate Pain

**Hey guys, I'm back. This time with an iCarly fic. This has recently become my favorite show, and I'm a total Seddie shipper. They're seventeen in this one (you'll find that out later anyway). There is a bit of cussing in it. Nothing too bad. I assume that when Sam gets a bit older, she'd be cussing anyway (not on Nickelodeon though lol). I'm excited about this fic. I hope you enjoy it. Be sure to tell me if you catch any spelling, typos, or grammatical errors. I'll fix them immediately.**

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"Jesus!" came the yell of Sam for what seemed like the fortieth time today.

"Is it really still hurting, Sam?" Carly asked her. Sam had been having terribly gut-wrenching cramps for the past couple of weeks and it only seemed to be getting worse.

"Yea. Where's Freddie? Maybe a good ass-kicking will make the pain stop," Sam smirked, her hand still on her lower stomach.

"Oh, his mom has him on lockdown right now. Apparently someone new moved into the apartment next to them and they have flea-infested cats…fourteen of them. So Mrs. Benson is afraid to let him out. Says fleas carry some kind of disease with a big name," Carly couldn't help but chuckle at her friend's misfortune. His mom could be a real nut sometimes, they both knew that. Carly could tell that Sam was already thinking of ways that she could make fun of Freddie for this one. And then Carly added, "Maybe you should go to the doctor for it," back on the subject of Sam.

"Ehh. I thought about it a couple days ago, but I don't see my mom taking it seriously enough. She'd probably tell me to go buy some tampons if I told her about the cramping," Sam explained.

"You mean you still haven't told her? Well just let Spencer and me take you. Spencer is good friends with the doctor, I think. So he could probably get you in without your mom having to be there," Carly suggested, genuinely worried about her friend.

"Who _isn't_ Spencer friends with?" Sam added. Carly nodded as they both moved from the kitchen to sit upon the couch in the living room, "I'm not even on my thing yet, so I don't know why I would be cramping. Just give it another day. If I'm still like this tomorrow, I'll let you take me, ok?"

"Promise?" Carly asked, knowing that Sam might try to wiggle her way out of going.

"Promise," Sam replied, taking her hand from her stomach and shoving it into a chip bag.

The next day, a knock on the door resonated through the house, awaking Carly. Sam, who had decided to sleep over, still slept soundly though. Carly quietly climbed out of her bed, trying not to wake Sam up, but in her mind, she knew that it would take more than her getting off the bed to wake Sam up. Sam was a deep sleeper, even though she had still been cramping when she fell asleep.

Carly looked around at her room that was pretty much trashed. There was a half-empty pizza box and part of its contents strung across the floor, pop cans lying in random spots, and several other things scattered around. She heard another knock at the door, so she continued on out of her room and down the stairs. Once downstairs, she heard a noise coming from the kitchen. She looked over to see Spencer concocting something in a big bowl.

"Are you not going to get the door?" Carly asked him, rubbing her eyes, still half asleep. Spencer pulled his hands out of the bowl and Carly saw that they were covered in some sort of blue slime. Her eyes widened a little and so did Spencer's smile, "You frighten me at times," she stated and then headed over to the door. Another knock rung out just before she grabbed the door handle and opened it. There stood Freddie, who quickly rushed in.

"I'm hiding from my mom. She got busy, so I decided I'd try to get out while I could," Freddie explained before Carly could ask.

"She still on about the flea thing?" Carly questioned.

"Yea. It's completely ridiculous. I mean, you're just across from the new people and _you_ don't have fleas, so why would I?" Freddie ranted. Carly shrugged.

"I guess I'll go wake Sam up. It's nearly twelve, and she needs to get ready to go to the doctor anyway," Carly said more to herself than anyone as she headed toward the stairs.

"The doctor?" Freddie asked, "What did she do this time?" They both knew of Sam's crazy antics she got herself into sometimes: fights, stealing, fights, jail, fights.

"I don't think she did anything, unless someone punched her in the gut. I think she's just having female problems, but it seems a little worse than that, so Spencer and me are going to take her to the doctor," Carly explained.

"We're doing what?" Spencer asked from the kitchen. Carly had totally forgotten to mention it to him.

"Oh yea. We're going to take Sam to the doctor today, ok? That one doctor that you're friends with. She didn't really want to talk to her mom about it, so I told her we would take her," Carly told him.

"Sounds fine with me, kiddo. I gotta finish my blueberry surprise first though. It shouldn't take too long. We could even go while it's baking. It's supposed to bake for almost two hours," Spencer said.

"Geez," Carly's eyes got big again, "That really is a surprise," she turned and continued on up the stairs and Freddie followed her. When they got to Carly's room, they saw Sam still sleeping soundly. Her mouth was open a little and she was mumbling something incoherent, "Sam…," Carly whispered, shaking Sam's shoulder a little. It was going to take more than that to get her up, Carly soon figured out. She put both hands on Sam's shoulder and shook her vigorously, making Sam slowly open her eyes.

"Wh-what?" Sam rubbed her eyes and looked at Carly, then to Freddie, "What's he doing here? I thought his mom went bonkers again?"

"Looks like my mom isn't the only one," Freddie replied, motioning toward the empty two-liter that Sam was snuggling with. Sam threw it onto the floor with the rest of the garbage and sat up with her legs hanging off the bed.

"How's your stomach feeling?" Carly asked her.

"Ehh, it's fine for now. It's not bother me at the moment," she replied, "I'm hungry."

"Well at least you still have your appetite," Carly laughed, "but you should get ready because Spencer is going to take us to the doctor as soon as he's done making his 'blueberry surprise,'" Carly made dramatic hand movements as she said the last two words.

"Is Freddork coming too?" Sam nodded toward Freddie, who was starting to count the empty pop cans. Carly turned to Freddie as if she weren't sure.

"I guess I could go. If I don't, I'll just have to go back to my mom," he shuddered at the thought of his mother trying to search his body for fleas.

"Great then," Carly said, "Let's go downstairs and see how Spencer is doing on his creation," with that said, Sam stood up off the bed and started to take her shirt off.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Freddie said, turning around quickly, "You can't just change with me standing right here."

"Well if you didn't like it, you should've got out," Sam replied, throwing her shirt to the floor and picking up a new one that she had brought to wear. It was navy blue with a small pocket on the right side.

"You didn't even warn me you were changing!" Freddie explained.

"Oops," Sam said in a not-really-oops-I-just-don't-care tone. The three of them were now seventeen. Well, besides Carly, who would be seventeen in July. Having known each other for more than four years, Sam didn't really care what Freddie -or Carly- saw. She was actually surprised that Freddie even still threw a fit over it. "What's the big deal? We're all practically family anyway," The past year or so, Sam had gotten slightly less harsh on Freddie, but only slightly. It came natural to her to joke around with him in a mean way: it was just who she was. But since growing up more, she found that it felt childish to do seriously mean things to him. Even though she knew Freddie probably wouldn't even be friends with her in the least if Carly wasn't around, he was still Sam's friend (as awkward as it felt to admit). They _had _known each other for a long time.

"Are you done yet?" Freddie asked, ignoring Sam's previous statement. He began to turn around only to catch Sam's thumbs in the top of her pajama shorts, about to pull them down. He quickly whipped back around, accepting that as an answer to his question. Carly faced sideways looking at her walls. She'd been around Sam undressing all the time, but she thought she'd give her some slight privacy by turning to the side- not that Sam much cared. Carly wore a smile as she started walking toward the door.

"Sam," Carly laughed, "we'll just wait for you downstairs, ok?" She could sense Freddie's discomfort. Freddie started to follow Carly.

"I'm done anyway," Sam replied. And with a quick zip of her jeans, they went downstairs. They watched Spencer pour the blue substance into a pan.

"This is going to be the greatest dish…EVER!" Spencer smiled.

"Oh, are you about to start baking it?" Carly asked him cheerfully.

"What exactly is _it_?" Sam cut Carly off, staring oddly at the pan. She may have been a bit afraid of it, but no one doubted that if it was edible and tasty, she would eat it, and lots of it.

"Blueberry surprise!" Spencer explained, as if Sam was already supposed to have known what a blueberry surprise was.

"Whatever," she said, "When's it going to be done?"

"It should be done when we get back from the doctor. Gotta let the puppy rise," there was a glint in his eye that made him seem a bit maniacal. He put on his oven mitts and carefully placed the surprise into the oven. He carefully set the oven for an hour and fifty minutes. "Now let's go!"

"Now? Let me get dressed," Carly rushed up the stairs to change out of her pajamas. She hadn't done a strip in front of her two friends as Sam had done, so she was the only one not ready to go.

"Let's just hope you don't set the house on fire this time. It can't be very safe to keep the oven on while being out of the house," Freddie warned.

"Ahh, the doctor isn't too far away, so we should be back pretty quick as long as Sam isn't dying," Spencer looked over at the blonde, "You're not…dying...are you?" He acted as if she may have actually been, but it had been kept a secret from him.

"Of course not. They might take my uterus out though. At least I hope so anyway, this feeling sucks," she touched her stomach as the pains started to come again.

"What's it feel like?" Freddie asked her.

"Want me to show you what it feels like?" Sam smirked at him. His eyes widened and he shook his head, crossing his arms, "Well, alright then. It feels kind of like someone is taking a razor blade through the inside of my lower stomach and then throwing vinegar on it. It's quite lovely actually," her sarcasm had been starting to get easily understood by Freddie throughout the years. He used to make some remark back as though she wasn't actually joking, but now he just gave a her a painful look as he imagined the feeling himself. At that point, Carly came running back downstairs, brushed hair and decent clothes on. Sam brushed her hands over her own hair in an attempt to fix it because she realized she hadn't brushed her hair like Carly had. Who was going to see her though? They'd just be coming back to Carly's house.

They all went down to the doctor's office, and Spencer talked to the nurse about seeing the doctor for himself -he wouldn't tell the nurse it was for Sam- and the nurse said that the doctor could get him in in just a few minutes. They all sat in the waiting room patiently, watching _The Fox and the Hound_, which was playing on the tv in the corner of the room.

"Tod, that Copper is going to come back a hunting dog, a real killer," Big Mama explained to the small fox before her.

"Oh no, not my friend Copper. He won't ever change," Tod replied to her.

"I hope you're right."

"And we'll keep on being friends forever. Right, Big Mama?" Tod asked her.

"Darling, forever is a long, long time, and time has a way of changing things…"

"Oh my goodness! Poor Tod," Carly was already starting to cry. Sam wondered if Carly had ever even seen the movie from the beginning. When Tod's mom got killed, she'd surely have heart-failure. Sam remembered seeing the movie when she was little and tearing up, herself. She'd never told that to anyone though.

"It's ok, Carls," Sam reassured her, rubbing her back.

"What is this movie?" Freddie asked Sam.

"Seriously Fredward? It's _The Fox and the Hound_. You can't tell me you've never heard of it," she stared at him like he had something stapled to his face.

"Look, my mom wouldn't ever let me watch very many movies as a kid. She was afraid they'd influence me in a bad way. There must've been violence or something like that in this one or I would've seen it," he explained to her.

"The worst thing that happens is Tod's mother getting shot in the beginning," Sam said, still appalled.

"TOD!" Carly weeped, hearing about his poor, poor mother. Sam pat her on the back again.

"So I guess you've never seen Bambi either have you?" she laughed at Freddie now. He had been so deprived from the world, "Ha! I can see Mrs. Benson now: 'Fredward, no Bambi for you! The mama deer getting shot might influence you to kill yourself because of your terrible life I've made you have,'" she mocked his mom in a higher-pitched voice.

"Come on, just drop it, ok?" Freddie sighed, looking over at Spencer, who was flipping through a cooking magazine that he had found. That was the last thing Spencer needed: more blueberry surprise recipes.

"Spencer Shay!" a nurse called from an open door in the waiting room.

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**Before you ask: no, she's not pregnant. I'm not jumping on that "I-got-drunk-so-now-I'm-pregnant" bandwagon. She's not having organ problems, and Freddie isn't going to have to be her organ donor. Please leave some feedback on how you felt about it. Without jumping to conclusions? Inspire me to write more! I'll usually update one chapter a week apart, but sooner if I get lots of reviews.**


	2. iAm Carrying Kittens With Shanks

**Thanks so much for all of your helpful reviews. I hope you all like this chapter. I apologize that nothing _interesting_ has happened yet. I just feel that the long intro is needed. Let me know what you think!**

**Disclaimer (which I forgot in the last chapter): I'm not Dan Schneider, although we're both Seddie shippers.**

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"That's us!" Spencer said, and they all got up and followed him through the door. The nurse looked puzzled as to why there were three other teenagers following behind him, but she continued on without commenting on it. She took his weight on a scale and then led him and the others to a room.

"So Spencer, tell me why you're here today," the nurse clicked her pen and held a clipboard up to write on.

"Uhh…umm…," Spencer looked at the three of them, "I'd rather just talk to the doctor about it." The nurse looked baffled once again, but simply unclicked her pen.

"Alright then, I'll let him know," she said in a slightly annoyed voice, and then she walked out of the room.

"That was close," Carly said, still wiping the tears, due to Tod's pain, away from her face.

"Yea, let's just hope it doesn't take forever and a day back here in this little room. It's not really designed for four people and a doctor," Sam said, shoving Freddie over a little into a rack holding a stethoscope and other equipment. He gave her a "stop it" look and rubbed his arm a little.

Thankfully for the irate Sam, the doctor came soon. He walked in the door and smiled at Spencer.

"Hey there Spencer! How have you been?" he asked, shaking Spencer's hand.

"I've been just fine. I was wondering if you'd mind to take a took at my sister's friend, Sam, here. She didn't really want to talk to her mom about taking her to a doctor's appointment, so I told her I could probably take care of it," Spencer explained to him.

"Of course! Anything for a friend like Spencer. Ha, this is one crazy guy. I could tell you loads of stories," he began. Sam quickly elbowed Carly in the side, making her jump a little. She caught onto Sam's hint though.

"Oh, I'm sure they're some lovely stories, but we're kind of in a little bit of a hurry. You see, Spencer has some food in the oven at home we need to be getting back to soon," Carly explained to the doctor.

"Ahh, you're right. There's always more time later for stories," the doctor chuckled, "I'm Doctor Patton, by the way," he shook Sam's hand.

"Nice to meet ya. Can we get on with this now? I feel like I'm carrying a litter of kittens with tiny shanks embedded all over them," she explained smiling. Dr. Patton laughed a bit, assuming Sam was over-exaggerating.

"We can get started," he replied, "I'll have to ask the rest of you to wait in the lobby though. Privacy reasons for the patient," Carly wished her friend luck and Freddie gave Sam a small pat on the back -he was worried about his friend, despite the fact that she was always causing _him _nothing but pain- and then they all did as told, "Now tell me, Sam. How exactly does it feel? Where are you feeling it, and when did it start?"

"Well doc, it started a couple weeks ago. It wasn't as bad at first, but it's been getting worse, and so Carly convinced me to come pay you a visit. It feels exactly like I said earlier: terrible cramping. It's right here in my lower stomach. No, it's not female pains. It's not time for that yet. And no, it's not a kid. I've never had sex," Sam replied to all the questions she thought the doctor could've asked her to try and explain the pains.

"Hmm…," he pondered, "Can you lay back on the table for me?" Sam did as he asked and he pushed on her lower stomach, "Does that hurt?"

"Nope."

"You can sit up now. I don't feel any sort of lump that could be a tumor. I'm just going to take your temperature, heart rate, blood pressure, and some other things just to check your vitals," he explained to her.

"Fine with me. Just don't take all day, there's some blueberry surprise waiting for me at Carly's," she licked her lips. He chuckled again. He took her temperature, which was at a normal level. As was her blood pressure and heart rate.

"Everything seems to be just fine. I'll so some more tests: take some blood, swab your throat, and I'll also need a urine sample," he seemed to pull a cup out of no where. Sam wondered what sort of magic those white coats held.

"Finally! I've been dying to pee," she hopped down off of the table and walked right on out of the room. She came back minutes later, handing the now full cup to the doctor, "Now let's get these other tests done so I can eat. I didn't even get to eat breakfast," Skipping breakfast for Sam was like skipping an entire day of food. She liked to have _every _meal and every snack in between. The doctor began to do the other tests he had told her he needed to do.

"Now you know Sam, if these tests don't reveal anything, I'll probably have to send you to a gynecologist-" before he could even finish, Sam burst out in speech.

"A gynecologist?" she explained, which came out more as "eh goonayollowest?" because of the q-tip that was currently shoved down in her throat.

"Well we have to find out what's wrong somehow. If these tests don't show anything, then _that_ surely will," he said. Sam thought of what she would do. Spencer surely wouldn't be able to take her to the gynecologist as well as the doctor. It was a coincidence that he was even friends with the doctor, there was no way he'd be friends with one of the gynecologists at the Ladies' Clinic.

"Doc look, my mom doesn't have her license right now. I don't like to go places with her. She's obnoxious and doesn't care much about anything. And it was a strike of luck that Spencer knew you and that I could come down here. There's no way I'd be able to go to the gynecologist. My mom would have to be there to sign papers and shit. And there's no way she can do that. She doesn't even know I'm here today, man," Sam tried her best to explain her situation to him.

"Well I'm not saying that these tests aren't going to reveal anything. They very well might. But if it really comes down to you having to see a gynecologist for your problem, we have a lady that works here as a doctor that used to work in gynecology. She could take a look at you and do a few tests. You have to keep that absolutely confidential though. Telling Spencer and Carly will be just fine, but we're technically not supposed to do anything like that. We could get shut down," he told her, trying to help out the best he could. He was now shoving a needle into her arm to take a blood sample. Sam acted as if it were a feather brushing her arm. She didn't seem to notice in the least.

"You can trust me, doc. There's no one else I'd even _want _to tell besides them," _Besides Freddie_, she thought, "So I can keep it a secret if things come down to that…God forbid," she shuddered at the thought of having to be _looked at_ by some random woman just to figure out why she was cramping.

"That's good to know," he told her, taking the needle out of her arm and putting a cotton ball on it, "Now put pressure on that while I take your blood, urine, and swab back to be tested. I'll be right back with a bandaid," Sam nodded and pushed down on the cotton ball. The doctor left the room and she looked around at the wallpaper. It was wallpaper of a lake with a willow tree resting beside of it. It looked like such a peaceful place. The pictures were repeated over and over again all of the four walls surrounding her. She imagined being _there_ right now with a nice plateful of salami instead of here in the cold doctor's office holding a cotton ball on her arm. At least she'd be getting some answers soon and hopefully the pain would be stopped. The doctor came back shortly with a bandaid and Spencer, Carly, and Freddie behind him.

"I thought you might like a little company while we wait on the results," the doctor told her, "Here's your bandaid. I'm going to go sit with the tests and wait for them to finish," he walked over to her and she moved her hand. He carefully placed the purple bandaid over the cotton ball, making the cotton ball stay on her arm. He then left the room to tend to the tests.

"So any news?" Carly asked her. Sam shook her head no.

"If these tests don't show anything, he's going to do a couple more. I guess it means I'm dying if the second tests don't show anything," Sam joked.

"Oh dear," Carly said.

"Ehh, I'm just kidding with you," Sam explained.

"Well kids, I guess you don't need my help anymore. I think I'll go back home and make sure nothing's burning," Spencer said to them. He was slightly weary of leaving things plugged in or running after he had accidentally burnt Carly's room down, "Just come on back home when you're done."

"Alright, we will," Carly said.

"Hey, thanks for doing this," Sam said to him. She was grateful to have a friend like Carly. She was always finding a way to help Sam out.

"Not a problem!" Spencer replied, and then he left.

"So how much longer do we have to be here?" Freddie asked.

"Aww, does Freddie miss his mommy already?" Sam joked, laughing. Freddie had learned over the years to either take her insults without making another one back (because Sam would just retort with one more), or to just joke along with her. He chose the latter. He jokingly pulled a strand of her hair, "Oh my God! That hurt, Freddie!" Sam yelped.

"No it didn't, Sam," he knew better.

"Haha, I know," she punched him in the arm. Carly smiled at the both of them. She had noticed that as they got older, they still teased each other, but it had become a somewhat friendly teasing. They still acted as if they hated each other, but deep down, they both knew they were great friends.

The doctor came back in the room several minutes later and he had a few papers in his hands.

"Well, Sam, the results didn't show anything serious. It looks like we'll have to do those _other_ tests now," he told her. He looked over at Carly and Freddie, trying to show Sam that he didn't want to say the word "gynecologist" in front of the two of them to spare Sam's embarrassment. Little did he know that not much embarrassed Sam Puckett. Sam sighed.

"Alright then, doc. Let's hurry and get these over with and I'm out of here," she said. He nodded and left to get the "female" doctor.

"We'll wait for you out in the lobby, ok Sam? Just come on out there when you're done," Carly said.

"Sounds good," she replied. The doctor came back shortly with a woman doctor. She had long, dark hair. It reminded Sam of Carly's in a way.

"Hello Sam, I'm Doctor Mosley. How're you doing?" she smiled at Sam. Dr. Patton left the room.

"Could be better," Sam replied, "I'm starved half to death and my uterus feels like it's falling out."

"I see. Well I'm going to try to make this as least awkward as possible. These tests will take a couple of days to come back. So if you could please write your phone number down here," Dr. Mosley handed Sam a clipboard and a pen, then showed her where to sign, "I'll call you as soon as the results come back. This should show what's going on with you since it's female problems you're having."

"Good," Sam said, taking the clipboard with one hand and holding onto her stomach with the other as the pain came back.

"Well, I'm all done here guys. Let's go back to your house and get some of that yummy blueberry surprise!" Sam said to her friends, walking out of the door that led to the various rooms. Sam heard no response. She looked at Carly who was caught up in another movie. This time it was _Homeward Bound_. What was with all of the animal movies? _Is this a veterinary clinic or a doctor's office?_ Sam though, "Carly!" she said trying to get her friend's attention. Freddie had heard her in the first place, he just acted as if he were interested in the movie too. _Hell. Who knows? Maybe he really _is_ into it_. Sam shrugged to herself, amused at the thought.

"Huh- wha?" Carly turned around to see Sam standing there with her arms crossed, "Oh, Sam. You're out. This is another sad movie! These poor animals are trying to find their way home together…"

"Yea, yea. Let's go. I've been in here enough for today," Sam said, taking her friend's hand and pulling her up out of the waiting room chair.

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**The next chapter will get more interesting and start to explain what's wrong with Sam. Thanks for sticking with me, guys! In your review, give me some ideas of what you'd like to see. Tell me what you thought and inspire me to write more. :)**


	3. iLove Blueberry Surprise

**Thanks so much for all of the reviews, guys! I really appreciate your help, critiques, and praise. It truly means so much to me. Don't forget to tell me if you catch any errors. :)**

**Disclaimer: Why, Dan, why?**

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They all arrived back at Carly's apartment and were greeted with a wonderful smell.

"Oh my gosh," Sam said, booking it to the kitchen, pushing her way past Freddie and Carly, "That smells so damn good," she noticed a pan filled with a blue, baked substance. She instantly dug her hand into it, disregarding the forks sitting beside of the pan. It was hot, but she quickly shoved it into her mouth, "This is so good!" she said with her mouth full of whatever it was.

"And what if Carly or I would've wanted some?" Freddie asked, coming to stand beside of Sam while Carly sat down on the couch. Sam merely continued to chew as she reached for another handful. Instead of cramming it into her mouth, she moved her hand toward Freddie, offering him some.

"Umm…thanks," he said, just appreciating that Sam was even offering it to him instead of smearing it in his hair or face. He took the substance from her hand and into his. Sam's right hand was a brownish-blue color and Freddie noticed she had the food caked under her long fingernails. It seemed crazy to Freddie what Sam would do when she was hungry. Despite being a bit afraid of where her hands might've been, he took a small bite. It really _was_ good. He went over and got a napkin, placing the food in in. Then he picked up one of the forks on the table and stuck it in the pan to get another bite.

"It _is_ good, Sam," he said. There was really no need for a plate, Sam had already disassembled most of the contents. She nodded at him, still eating it. Hearing their conversation, Carly grabbed herself a plate, not wanting to act like a caveman, and scooped some of the surprise onto her plate -what was left from Sam's mess anyway.

"I wonder where Spencer is," Carly mentioned.

"I'm here!" they heard a yell from his bedroom. He kicked open his door and came through the doorway backwards, pulling a dolly in front of him with a large boulder sitting upon it, "I'm going to try to make a koala bear out of this boulder!" They weren't even sure what to say, "Oh, I see you guys found the blueberry surprise," he looked at the blue running down Sam's chin, "How is it? I was going to wait for you guys to get home before I tried it, but I didn't even hear you come in."

"Gud," Sam said with her mouth still full. Carly took a bite of hers.

"Mmm," she said. Spencer walked over and grabbed Sam's fork that she hadn't used and took a bite of it himself, "Am I the only one who believes in plates?" Carly asked. No one answered her.

"So how did the tests go, Sam?" Spencer asked her. She swallowed down the blueberry surprise left in her mouth.

"Oh yea, how _did_ that go? I was so caught up in that movie, I forgot to ask," Carly asked her.

"They did some more tests and said they'd call me when they get the results. The results might take a couple days to come back," Sam explained to them. There was no way she was going to tell them what _kind_ of tests they had to do. She was trying to forget about it herself.

"They're making you wait longer?" Freddie asked her. She had already explained to all of them how bad it was hurting her. It appalled him that they were going to make her wait even longer.

"I'll be fine. You don't think I'm _that_ weak, do you, Benson?" she questioned him, smiling.

"No. Me of all people know that you're not weak. You just explained it like it was excruciating pain," he said. He wouldn't admit it, but he was worried about her; the rest of them were as well.

"It's only a couple days. Maybe it'll even go away by then," Sam said. The pain had subsided in the past half hour and she hoped that it would stay that way. She didn't want to sound weak -so she kept this to herself- but she was looking forward to the call so badly. She was ready to get a cure for the pain.

"Yea, hopefully," Carly answered, "Be sure you let us know what you find out, ok?" Carly had been such a good friend to her since finding out about her pain. Even though there were times when Carly had gotten under Sam's skin (what friend wouldn't after having been friends for so long?) and other times when they didn't exactly agree or get along, she was still Sam's very best friend. She was always there for her when Sam needed her. She could always count on her. _She'll be the first one I tell,_ Sam thought, _She deserves to know first._

"Don't worry," Sam smiled at her, "I will."

Sam laid in her bed that night thinking about everything that had happened that day. Her stomach had started hurting again around seven that night. It was now eleven. _I wonder what it could be_, she was truly curious. She could think of no explanation for it. _What if I'm seriously dying?_ It was hard to question herself that. She didn't want to think about dying. What would she say to everyone if she really was? How would she live her last day? There were so many things she wanted to do in life. It _couldn't_ be over so soon. She had never really thought about this before. She's never really had to. But now that it came down to it, she was scared…

"Hello?" Sam answered her cell phone, "Oh, hey… yea… yea… uh huh… what?" Sam sat up on the edge of her bed. "What do you mean?" she asked whoever was on the other line. There was a long silence from Sam as she listened to whoever was talking. She then hung the phone up and sat it in her lap. He mouth was open slightly as she looked at her hands which were placed softly on either side of her phone. It was dark outside. She had only fallen asleep for a few minutes, she noticed as she looked at the clock. _This can't be happening._ She stood up slowly, taking her phone off of her lap and sending a short text message that read, "Meet me outside your door."

She didn't even bother to change out of her pajamas: a tank-top and shorts. It was nearly summer time outside. And besides, why would it matter anyway? She snuck out of her window, which she had done countless times before when her mom had grounded her. It took a while, but she walked -barefoot- to the building that Carly lived in. She took the stairs up to Carly's floor and turned the corner to see Carly's door. Standing right across from it was Freddie.

"What's wrong, Sam? I've been texting you trying to find out. You haven't answered any of them," he asked her in a rushed and worried tone.

"Oh…," Sam answered looking at the ground, frowning, "Sorry, I guess I didn't feel my phone vibrate," she explained. He looked down at her hand, which was holding her phone. How could she possibly not have felt it?

"Did you walk all the way here? The buses don't even run at this time!" he was trying his best to keep cool and to whisper.

"I don't know, Freddie…," her voice was cracking.

"Sam, please, what's wrong? You never act like this. Why did you need me to meet you here?" he took a couple steps closer to her, "Are you crying, Sam?" She was looking at her feet now, her bangs, which had grown out quite a bit, were hanging loosely over her face. A sob escaped her mouth and Freddie could see, even through the dark, a teardrop hit her foot. Freddie moved forward to her and carefully hugged her, "Please don't hit me for this. I just want to know what's wrong, ok?" Sam reached around Freddie, embracing him back. She said something, which was muffled by his shirt, "What, Sam?" Freddie asked, pulling away.

"I'm going to d-die," she cried, no longer able to keep her composure, "Freddie, what am I going to do? I'm going to _die_. They called me and told me I had a disease. There were so many things I wanted to do in life…," she trailed off. Freddie was silent, so Sam looked up at him. He was still fairly close to her.

"Everything's going to be alright," he leaned down at Sam, who was still looking up at him teary-eyed, and kissed her. It was a quick kiss, and then he embraced her again.

"Th-thank you, Fr-"

"-eddie…," Sam slowly opened her eyes and looked around. She wasn't with Freddie anymore. _It was a dream_, she said to herself, releasing her hold she had had on her pillow and rolling over so that she was on her back. She laid her hands on her stomach, intertwining her fingers and looked at the ceiling. _What an _odd_ dream_. Never in her life had she remembered ever having a dream about _Freddie_ like that. It wasn't like she hadn't thought of her first kiss often, but she had never pined for another kiss that would cause her to have such dreams. After having figured out she had no explanation for her dream, she sat up. _I just gotta stop thinking about it. _She didn't want things to feel awkward with him today.

Speaking of today, she had school. She looked over at her clock and it read 6:24 AM. She had woken up much too early. _Probably from that awful dream_, she told herself. She really didn't feel like going to school, but hell, when did she ever? She was just thankful that they'd all be graduating their junior year in two weeks. They'd be seniors soon. It felt so unbelievable. She worried about Carly, Freddie, and herself growing apart in their friendship after graduating high school, but she tried to keep to the hope that they'd all still be great friends.

Sometimes Sam wished her hair were shorter. Every time she woke up, it was _everywhere_. It was worth it though; she'd always loved her long hair. If there was one thing about herself that she considered pretty, it would be her hair. It felt like something she could hide behind. So even as she struggled to get a comb through it that morning, she was happy.

She hadn't felt any pain that morning, but she was just waiting for it. It'd show up any minute now. And to add onto that, it was a Monday. _Wonderful_, she thought, _still have four days until the weekend_. She took longer than usual to get ready since she had woken up too early, and once ready, she left quietly -she didn't want to wake her mom, who was still asleep. After having been in that awful room with her for God knows how long, she had learned to try to respect her mom a little because her mom had started to do the same for her.

When she wasn't staying at Carly's, she usually didn't have a ride to school, so she had to take a bus. She much preferred staying with Carly because she had a free ride (and free food as well). As she waited for the bus, she looked up at the sky and noticed it was going to rain soon. _Maybe I should've brought an umbrella_, she thought, looking down at her hair, which she had tried so hard to get knots out of. The rain would really mess with it. And her hair took _forever_ to dry. She shifted her weight from one foot to the other as she began to get impatient for the bus.

"Bullshit…," she murmured, deciding she was done standing up. She threw her backpack to the ground and sat down cross legged beside of it. She got a few stares from people walking down the street, and she gave a few stares back herself, along with a couple of "what are you looking at"s until the bus finally stopped in front of her. She jumped up, grabbing her backpack and climbed aboard, "Ahoy," she saluted the bus driver, and then put some money into the bucket.

While on the bus, she had texted Carly and Freddie, like she did every morning when she had to ride the bus, and asked them to meet her at the front of the school. They complied, and now she was standing with them. It felt awkward to look at Freddie after the dream she had had, so she tried to focus her attention on Carly instead.

"Did you get any info about the results?" Carly questioned her right off the bat. _Of course she had to ask that_, Sam thought to herself. The questioned reminded her of her dream, which forced her to look over at Freddie.

"What?" Freddie asked after she had been looking at him for a second. Instead of answering, she merely looked back over at Carly.

"No, not yet. Hopefully today. They did say a_ couple_ days though, so who knows when that'll be," Sam explained. Carly nodded and they all continued on into the school.

It was third period, and Sam and Freddie had the class together: English III. Sam's head was lying on her desk, about to fall asleep when a buzzing noise came from her pocket. It was her phone. To Sam's contentment, only the people sitting around her heard it. She jumped a little because she had been about to doze off. Freddie, who was sitting in the desk to the right of her, quickly looked over at her when he heard the buzz.

"Hey, I gotta pee!" Sam said to the teacher. And while the teacher was trying to explain the correct way to ask to use the restroom, Sam was already up and going out the door. If it had've been anyone except for Sam, they would've surely gotten detention or gone to the office for that charade, but considering it _was _Sam Puckett, the teacher simply shook her head and continued to teach. Everyone was used to Sam's obnoxious behavior by now, even the teachers.

"Hello?" Sam whispered into the phone as soon as she got out into the hallway. She was quickly making her way to the bathroom so she could speak at a normal level.

"Could I speak to Sam Puckett, please?" a male voice came over the phone.

"Yea, I'm her," Sam replied back, finally reaching the bathroom and going in.

"This is Dr. Patton, from yesterday?"

"Yea," she responded, trying to hurry him along. Maybe she was finally going to get answers.

"Well, we sent your tests off, and I'm just calling to let you know-" Sam missed the rest of what he said because the stall she was in -which she hadn't bothered to lock- opened.

"What the hell, Becky. Get out," Sam said angrily to the red-headed girl who had cut the doctor off.

"Oh, sorry, Sam. I didn't realize you were in here," the girl named Becky tried to explain herself. Becky was a freshman, but she already knew Sam's name from talk around the school and seeing her in so many fights. Naturally, she was afraid of the blonde. Sam looked annoyed, and raised her eyebrows pointing sharply at the phone that was still to her ear. Becky rushed to another stall without saying anything more.

"Now what'd you say, doc? Some spazzwad just interrupted my hearing."

"I was just saying," the doctor chuckled at Sam's choice in vocabulary, "that the results should be back sometime tomorrow. You should keep this number stored or written down so that you know it's us calling tomorrow," he explained. Sam sighed. She was hoping she would've been finding out some information.

"Alright then," she replied, "I really gotta get back to class though. Talk to you tomorrow, doc," and with that, Sam pressed the _end_ button on her phone without waiting for a response from the doctor. She went back to class and plopped back into her seat, irritated.

"What was that?" Freddie whispered to her.

"Just the doc calling to say the results will be in tomorrow," she paused, rolling her eyes, "as if I didn't already know that," the funny thing was that Sam was more irritated about losing the sleep she had almost had than missing information the teacher had talked about. Freddie smiled, watching Sam lie her head back onto the desk, facing away from him.

"Alright, Sam. Goodnight," he chuckled and continued to listen to the teacher talk.

* * *

**I'm not sure about you guys, but where I'm from, people tell each other "goodnight" _anytime_ someone is going to sleep, not just at night time. If that's not true of where you live, then I apologize for the confusion. Ok, ok, I promise the next chapter is going to tell what's wrong with her, even if I have to make it ten pages long on my word document. Tell me what you thought, and tell me some ideas of what you'd like to see. Oh, and as always, ask questions! I'm going to make a FAQ for this story on my page since this story is my most popular, so ask anything you want to know about the story (of course, I can't give anything away though). Thanks again, guys! Don't forget to review!**


	4. iHave Weird Dreams

**Thank you so much to all of my reviewers! And thanks so much to all of you readers that are still with me after having waiting this long to find out what's wrong with Sam. I'm proud to announce that this is indeed the chapter. Make sure you review and tell me what you think!  
Oh my gosh, guys! Guess what? I'm going to be seeing Jennette in concert in five more days! I've never been so excited in my life. I'm going to make my mom wear her Seddie shirt :p  
Also: A special thanks to XcrozzybabezX and bananarama92 for your dreams that inspired Carly and Freddie's dreams in this chapter. And thank you to all of the rest of you that sent me your dreams too! You're all so unique, and it was hard to choose just two.  
Disclaimer: Dan happens to own Seddie and all that other chiz that makes iCarly amazing. **

* * *

When the bell rang for school to finally be over, Sam rushed out of the classroom. Even if she was still in school technically, it felt good to be out of class. Carly met Sam at their lockers, which were right beside of each other that year. Sam had made sure to grab the one next to Carly's before anyone else did.

"Are you going to come home with me this evening so we can get started on iCarly ideas, or are you going home first?" Carly questioned her blonde friend. They had an iCarly meeting that evening. Nothing to rehearse yet, but they were coming up with ideas.

"You went grocery shopping the other day, right?" Sam asked, watching Carly place her book into her locker.

"Yea, why?" Carly answered.

"Yea, I'm coming to your house," Sam smirked. She hadn't bothered getting any books out of her locker today. She knew she'd be having cramps later on that later, and text books and cramps did not mix well with Sam. Hell, text books and _anything_ didn't mix well with her. Freddie came up behind the both of them.

"What time are we meeting for iCarly?" he asked them.

"We're actually going to whenever we get to my house. Be sure you keep looking out your peephole to see when we get there," Carly laughed.

"I stopped doing that a long time ago, seriously," Freddie rolled his eyes.

"Right," Sam grinned.

When Sam and Carly arrived at her apartment building after school, Sam was explaining to Carly that she believed her pain was going away.

"It just seems like it has died down some today, you know?" Sam said.

"That's great! You see, Sam, I knew you'd be fine." Carly replied happily.

"Yea, but I'm still curious what it is that caused it in the first place," Sam explained, "Gosh, why can't they just call already?"

"Oh, that reminds me," Carly began as she pushed the eight button on the elevator, "What all did the doctor say when he called you today?"

"How did you know about that?" Sam looked at her questionably, as if to say, "stalker?"

"Freddie texted me during that class and told me a little about it. He couldn't tell me very many details though because he was trying to text without the teacher noticing," she explained to Sam.

"I wonder when he's ever going to get over you," Sam smirked, shaking her head and completely disregarding Carly's question. They stopped on floor five and a woman and her little girl climbed on.

"What brought that on?" Carly asked, "And I don't know. He seems to have seriously stopped flirting so much."

"Well, he risked getting in trouble in class just to text you," Sam looked down at her feet. Sam remembered when they had their first kiss together. She remembered that she had begun to wonder if she possibly had feelings for him. Especially after Carly had found out about the kiss and questioned them, "I mean, did you guys... you know... like it?" Since then though, Sam had convinced herself she was only caught in the moment and had pushed whatever feelings she might've had away.

"Yea," Carly said, "but he was texting me about _you_," she raised her eyebrows at Sam. The elevator stopped on floor eight and the two of them climbed off.

"Oh, no, Shay. Don't you even _try_ to say that Frederly is interested in me. I'd knock his teeth down his throat if he ever tried to bother me like he does you," Sam explained. They turned the corner and were now beside of Carly and Freddie's doors.

"I know, Sam," she laughed, "and I think Freddie knows that too. Maybe that's why he hasn't tried."

"Here, let me prove it to you. He's still head over heels for you," Sam had lowered her voice. She crept quietly beside of Freddie's door and lifted her hand to the peephole. She quickly stuck her index finger over the hole, which would've blocked Freddie's vision. He would be wondering why his vision was suddenly blocked out. When nothing happened, Sam sighed, "He's getting tricky."

She then slammed her fist onto the door as she had done once before to prove that he was looking out his peephole. Still, no one made a sound or opened the door.

"You seeee?" Carly smiled, "He's in love with you now," she teased, doing a small dance. Sam gave a small growl and yanked his door open. She saw Freddie walking toward the door, probably after having heard the bang.

"Get your ass out here, Benson!"

"What've I done now, Sam?" Freddie sounded a bit bored. He was so used to this that he almost wasn't afraid of her anymore; _almost_.

"Nothing new, Fredbag, just that your lazy ass isn't ready to work on iCarly," she turned and opened Carly's door.

"I'm completely ready," he argued, reaching his front door. Sam was already inside Carly's apartment though.

"She means well," Carly explained to him, "I think I just embarrassed her with something I said."

"I know she does," he replied, exasperated. Then the two of them followed after her.

"So, I figured we could do a segment on dreams," Carly looked at her two friends. All three of them were sitting on an individual bean bag, and Carly had a notebook on her lap and a pen in her hand.

"Go on," Sam said, shoving a fat cake in her mouth. Even though she had been annoyed, that hadn't stopped her from raiding the kitchen.

"Well, I thought it might be interesting to the viewers if we shared our recent dreams and had them to vote on the website which once they'd like to see us act out," Carly explained. Freddie nodded his head.

"That sounds like a good idea. The viewers always seem to love when they get to be involved," he replied. Sam, on the other hand, was still looking at Carly with a blank stare.

"Is something wrong, Sam?" Carly giggled.

"I just don't think that's a very good idea," Sam had automatically been reminded of her dream the night before. There was no way she'd be sharing that dream with either of them, much less _acting_ it out.

"Why is that?" Carly questioned, truly confused by Sam's refusal.

"I have…weird dreams," Sam said this in the easiest way possible. She didn't very well want to blurt out, _because I had a dream of kissing this tech nerd sitting here_.

"I think we all could've probably guessed that anyway," Freddie smiled at her, "I can see it now. You're swimming in a vat of chili, right?" Sam shot Freddie an annoyed glance.

"How about you and Freddie just tell about your dreams," she shoved some more fat cake in her mouth, "Fie is dis so bam gud?" Carly and Freddie had almost learned how to completely decipher everything Sam said with food in her mouth. They'd had a lot of practice at it over the years. They could also tell that Sam was trying to switch the subject though.

"Come on, Sam. Just change your dream a little so that it can make a little sense," Carly begged.

"Yea, and if you're worried about it being too crazy or silly for iCarly…do you seriously realize what kind of webshow you're actually on?" Freddie smiled again. Sam just looked at him blankly, chewing on her fat cake.

"Ok, so I'll go first," Carly said, taking Sam's silence as an agreement, "I had a dream a couple nights ago that I was pregnant. I was in Spencer's room giving birth. It was the weirdest thing ever. I gave birth to three kittens, a human baby, and a blender," Freddie's face distorted into a "wtf" look, "Yea," Carly laughed, and then continued, "Spencer and I were struggling because we didn't want to have to tell dad about it. So while Spencer was on the phone with dad, I went into the kitchen and the kittens, baby, and blender all started running away. I started crying and started to chase after them, but Spencer put his hand on my shoulder and told me that if they were really meant to be with me, they would've stayed. Turns out, one of the kittens stayed with me."

"See, Carly? That dream was way more interesting than anything I could have. You're the creative one here. I think we should ditch the voting and just act out yours," Sam leaned over and patted her friend on the back, as if to say "good job" for being such a great dreamer.

"Well, just wait," Carly smiled, slightly flattered, "We haven't even heard Freddie's yet."

"Yea, yea," Sam said. She was just ready to get this whole thing over with. Freddie looked over at Sam and rolled his eyes.

"I have to agree with Sam. That was pretty interesting, Carly. But I'll tell you mine anyway. Last night, I had a dream that a man in a yellow suit named Anka burned down Shane's house and then unleashed a tribe of Maori on me, you two, Tasha, and some guys named Drake and Josh."

"Gibby's girlfriend, Tasha?" Sam questioned him, giving him weird look.

"Yea. Don't ask, cause I really have no idea. But anyway, we stopped by the store before going to Shane's house to pick up frying pans and lamps, because that's what we were going to fight off the tribesmen with. We got to Shane's house, and we fought all of them off," Freddie finished, with a smile on his face.

"Don't be so smug there, Fredweird. You might've had a unique dream, but there's no way we'd ever be able to act that out. I mean, seriously, where would we get a tribe of…whatever the hell you said?" Sam stated, "I still think we should go with Carly's dream."

"Well, _Sam_, since my dream was so stupid, why don't we hear about yours? I'm sure it's just spectacular," the sarcasm was dripping off of his tongue. Sam contemplated making the dream up, seeing as she was such a good liar, but for an instant, she considered telling the truth. _Imagine how freaked out the dork would be if I told him I dreamed about kissing him. He wouldn't sleep for weeks._ Sam smirked.

"Fine then," Sam said, still smiling, "I'll _tell _you my dream. And I guarantee it'll be more interesting than yours," Carly sat by, intrigued by the two of them. Most of the time, their fighting stressed her out, but today it was sort of funny because they were in competition with each other.

"I had a dream that I got a phone call telling me I was dying. So, I texted Freddifer, here, and told him to meet me outside of his apartment," Sam explained. Now Carly _and_ Freddie seemed to be intrigued, "So I walked all the way down to Bushwell Plaza, barefoot. I got up here to you guys' floor and there stood Freddie. I walked up to him and start bawling my eyes tell, telling the dork that I was going to die. So our wittle Freddie," she reached over to pinch his cheek and he swatted at her hand, "he hugged me and then he popped a big one right on my lips," she ended with a huge, smug smile. _He's going to die_, Sam thought. After a second of having not heard a response, she looked over at Freddie, who was looking at Carly with a smile of his own.

"Sam," Carly said in a surprised tone, smiling at her blonde friend.

"What?" Sam replied angrily, "Did you guys even hear me?"

"We heard you, alright," Freddie grinned, "You either made that up, or-"

"Or _what_?" Sam death-glared him.

"Nothing, never mind," he smiled, putting his hands up in defeat.

"Well," Carly began, switching the subject, "I'll put a summary of all of our dreams on the iCarly website and we'll let the fans vote."

"This is stupid," Sam stated, getting up out of her beanbag, "I'm hungry," she stormed out of the room, slamming the door on her way out. Freddie looked back over to Carly.

"Do you think she made that up?" he asked her.

"Humph," Carly gave a short laugh, "I don't really know. Sam's a pretty good liar. If she didn't though, I'd be willing to say that she has a big, fat crush on you."

"I might think the same if it was anyone other than Sam," Freddie responded.

It was Wednesday morning and Sam woke up at Carly's house. This was the first time she had woken up before Carly. Although, it was already 7:00, so Carly should've been waking up anytime. The reason for Sam's awakening was a phone call. She had stayed up way later than Carly last night, snacking out and watching tv, and had eventually fallen asleep on the couch a few hours after Carly had gone up to her bed. _It's way too early to be getting a phone call. This better not be my mom_, Sam thought, dragging her vibrating phone out of her back pocket. She looked at the number, it was a strange one that she didn't know. She thought back to last night. This number had called her last night as well. She had been way too caught up in watching MMA on the tv to even care about answering her phone though. Sam sighed.

"Hello?" she said groggily, sitting up on the couch and stretching with the arm that wasn't holding the phone to her ear, "Oh, hey!" her voice instantly lightened up as she heard the voice on the other line, "Geez, I totally forgot to store this number like you told me to do."

"That's fine. At least we got ahold of you," Dr. Patton said on the other line, "I have good news, bad news, and neutral news."

"Well, let's hear it. I've been waiting forever. The pain is starting to go away anyway, but I still want to know what was causing it in the first place," Sam explained, getting up off of the couch and going to the bathroom. She thought her bladder might implode if she didn't.

"Well, the good news is that we _did_ get your results back. The neutral news is that there is something wrong, but it's not life threatening," the doctor paused, preparing her for the bad news.

"Spit it out!" Sam said, trying her best to pull her shorts down with one hand.

"Well, Sam. The results showed that your ovaries aren't producing as many eggs as they used to. Actually, this has probably been happening for a while. This is where the pain is coming from. And considering that you said the pain is starting to go away, I'd say that the number of eggs in your body are slowly coming to an end. Eventually, your ovaries will completely stop producing eggs. I can't say for sure what has caused this, but by our observation, your ability to have children will probably stop by the end of July," the doctor explained. Sam flushed the toilet and put the lid down. She sat on the closed toilet. She thought for a second. _Today is June first_.

"So, you're saying this pain will end by the end of July?" Sam asked him.

"Fortunately, yes. But unfortunately, you'll also never be able to have children after that. Unless you adopt, of course. I know it must be hard for you. Most women don't think about having kids until they're at least in their mid-twenties," Dr. Patton said with sympathy in his voice.

"Yea. Well, thanks for the info, doc. I appreciate it," was all that Sam could think to say.

"Just give us a call back if you need anything," he replied to her.

"Will do," and then she pushed the end button on her phone. Ok, so it wasn't as bad as Carly had thought it might be. And she definitely wasn't dying. _It still sucks though_. Despite being Sam Puckett, she was still a girl. Every girl always imagined that they'd have a family one day with kids of their own with the guy they loved. Sam would never have that now. It was a bit of a disappointment to her. She looked down at her hands that were lying in her lap. _I dunno_, she said to herself, _maybe this is just God showing me I'm meant to be alone in life._ She had always sort of thought that she was born to be alone. Guys never liked her that much because of her personality. Maybe this news was just a confirmation of the thing that she had always believed to be true. She just had to suck it up though.

She left the bathroom and sat back down on the couch. With a quick glance at her phone, she saw that it was now 7:15. Why wasn't Carly up yet? She decided she didn't really care and laid back down on the couch, covering up. She drifted off to sleep almost instantly.

"Mommy," came a small voice. Everything was dark, "Hey, Mommy," said the voice again. The darkness, Sam found out, was the inside of her eyelids. She opened them up to see a little, blonde girl around the age of five. Her hair was long and curly, much like Sam's had been when she was younger.

"Excuse me?" Sam asked her.

"I was trying to get you up, Mommy. Daddy told me to come wake you up before you're late for work again," the girl told Sam.

"I'm not your mom, kid," Sam's brows furled. The little girl just giggled.

"You always do this when you're sleepy, Mommy," she smiled, revealing her tiny child-teeth with one of the front ones missing. Sam decided she should probably sit up.

"Ok, who's pulling the prank?" she yelled. She noticed when she sat up that she was no longer in Carly's apartment though. She was in a big house with picture frames on the walls and a fireplace in the corner.

"She's up now, Daddy!" called the little girl. She then climbed upon Sam's lap. She wrapped her tiny arms around Sam's neck, "Daddy said that when he was in kindergarten, he had already lost two teeth!" What in the hell was going on?

"Sam," came a male voice from behind her. If the little girl's arms weren't wrapped so tightly around her neck, she would've turned to see who it was.

"Daddy!" came the answer to Sam's curiosity. The little girl jumped down off of Sam's lap and ran to her daddy.

"Sam," the voice said again. Sam turned around to see who the man was. Everything went black again.

"Sam," Carly said, shaking her friend's shoulder. Sam opened her eyes. Carly was down in her face, "Are you alright? I've been trying to get you up for a few minutes now. I was starting to think you were dead," she laughed.

"Oh, yea. I'm up," Sam replied. She then remembered the phone call and everything the doctor had said. She suddenly felt sad and the dream hadn't made it any better. She would never be able to give birth to a little girl that would call her mommy. _Put it out of your mind, Sam_, she mentally told herself.

"It's already 7:45! I overslept. We're going to be so late!" Carly told her in a hurry, scrambling around looking for her phone.

"What about Spencer? Did he not wake you up?" Sam asked her friend.

"Huh! You should see him," Carly pointed toward Spencer's bedroom. Carly scurried toward the kitchen, looking around for something portable that she could take for breakfast. Sam untangled herself from the mess of blankets and heard a knock at the door. She walked over to it and opened it. It was Freddie.

"Welcome to the Inside-out Burger. How may I help you?" Sam asked him.

"Are you guys not going to school today? I was trying to wait for you two, and my mom is now about to have a seizure saying I'm going to miss school," Freddie rushed her.

"Calm down. Carly over-slept," Sam explained, walking away to go check out what was up with Spencer.

"You over-slept more than I did!" Carly called from the kitchen.

"How about I just meet you guys at-" Freddie was cut off by the call of his mother.

"Freddie! Are you ready to go yet? You're going to be LATE!"

"What a spazz," Sam said, reaching for Spencer's doorknob.

"I'll catch you guys at school!" Freddie rushed his words and shut the door, leaving. Sam opened Spencer's bedroom door to find him collapsed on top of a 1/3 finished koala sculpture.

"Well that looks comfortable," she muttered, closing the door back, "I'm thirsty."

"Sam, you're not even dressed yet!" Carly found a pack of crackers and threw them at Sam. Sam caught it without even looking. She was currently checking the text messages on her phone, which consisted of:

"Are you going to school?"

"Are you awake?"

"Wake up."

"We're going to be late."

And various others, all from Freddie.

"Don't worry about it. Just go on. You might still be able to catch up with Freddie. I might stay here today," Sam explained.

"Sam, it's not good to skip school. Why don't you just come in a little bit later when you get some clothes on?" Carly asked her, reaching the front door.

"Ok. I'll do that then," Sam replied, plopping back down onto the couch.

"Seriously, Sam. Don't just sit there and watch tv all day. You need to come to school," Carly warned.

"I will, I will," Sam said. In actuality, Sam could've gotten ready and dressed in about five minutes. She wanted a little time to herself to think about what had happened though.

"Ok. I'll see you in a little bit then," Carly told her, leaving through the door.

"See you…" Sam said quietly after Carly had closed the door.

* * *

**BUM BUM BUM (dun dun dun?). How many of you were expecting that? Tell me if there was anything I did wrong. Was Sam too OOC? If so, if you tell me how I can fix that, I'll totally go back and do it. Also, if there's anyone who knows if there's a name for this kind of condition, please let me know. I got the idea of the condition from a wonderful author that goes by the screen name of AssassinedAngel. It's up to you guys now to choose the path of this story. It's going to be like one of those stories where you choose the path/ending. As I said at the beginning, this is _not_ a I-got-drunk-so-now-I'm-pregnant story. It can be a I'll-never-be-able-to-have-kids-if-I-don't-have-one-now story if you wish it to be though. I know what kind of wrap pregnancy stories often get though, so it's all up to what you guys want (and I promise that if her having a kid is what you really want, I'll make it original and unique. Not like other pregnancy stories). I've got two plots planned out for whichever path you choose: pregnant or no. I've opened up a poll on my page where you can choose which you want. If you're an anonymous reviewer, you can tell me what you'd like to see in your review. :) Also, the poll will be blind, so you can't see the results. Be sure to tell me what you think!  
Oh! And if you'd like to hear updates on the story and possibly spoilers, follow me on Twitter! Check my profile out for info (And I apologize this author note is so long).**


	5. iAm Not Kissing Him Until We Go Live

**As you can see, I'm updating a bit earlier than usual. It's probably because I'm in a spectacular mood! Why? Because I got to meet Jennette Sunday! It was the best time of my life. There's a link on my fanfiction page to the video I made telling about meeting her. On the video, there's footage of her performing and lots of pictures! I've also got a link to my picture with Jennette on my profile, so be sure to check those out! Jennette seemed so interested in my mom's Seddie shirt ;)  
Thanks so much to all of my reviewers! You guys keep me living and happy :)  
****Disclaimer: Dan owns iCarly. He also owns the character Sam Puckett, who I MET! xD**

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It was 1:00 and Sam still hadn't gone into school. She had done exactly what Carly had told her not to do, and sat on the couch watching tv. She wasn't really being lazy, she was just trying to get her mind off things. She didn't think that being around that many people would be that good for her at the moment. She had gotten several texts from Carly asking if she was at school yet, and then they turned into, "Why aren't you here?" Sam had ignored them all.

Spencer had woken up just a short time ago. When he had come into the living room, he had a dazed look on his face and asked why Sam was there.

"I didn't feel like going to school," was her answer. It wasn't questioned though. Spencer was used to her rebel ways. Thankfully for her, Spencer had to go out to get some supplies for his koala sculpture. She didn't want to go home, but she also didn't feel like being around anyone. _Sam, just pull yourself together_, she told herself. This was so stupid. Why was she so upset about this? She thought about it for a while. She had always had a small hope that maybe someday she'd find somebody who would accept her…ways. As she had told Carly before, guys often found her abrasive. And maybe she was. But that was who Sam Puckett was and she didn't want to have to change herself again just to make a guy happy. She felt so much happier when a guy accepted her true self. She remembered the happiness she felt when Pete had told her that he liked a girl that could snap a bone when she needed to. Although things didn't work out between the two of them, and she was fine with that, she still liked the feeling of being accepted by a guy.

It felt as if this affliction had ruined all of her hope. Even if she did want to get married one day and did find a guy who would accept her, what guy would really want to hear he'd never be able to have a child with his wife? Even if she didn't get married, she still wanted a child; something to call her own. Her own child would be able to accept her the way she was because she would be its mother.

There was only one way any of this would be solved: if she found a guy and got pregnant before the end of July. Artificial insemination wasn't a choice because that would involve There would never be any way she'd find a decent guy like that though. She didn't want to have a kid by some douche bag that just wanted her for sex. It was an absurd thing to even think of. There was no way she'd ever have a kid. Even if she did find some kind of decent guy, the doctor had told her she was losing eggs. That meant it would be hard for her to get pregnant anyway. Sam pushed the thoughts out of her mind again and continued to watch tv.

Carly arrived home from school that evening and found Sam in the kitchen eating whatever she could possibly find. Sam had showered earlier and borrowed some of Carly's clothes.

"Hey, Carly," Sam said to her friend. Carly marched over to the kitchen.

"Hey, _Sam_. Why didn't you come to school today?" she sounded a bit annoyed.

"Oh yea. Sorry! I wasn't feeling too good," Sam explained. Carly didn't really believe her, but she decided to give her the benefit of the doubt. Carly eyed her suspiciously, but merely sat down beside of her at the kitchen table.

"So what have you done all day?" Carly asked her, taking a chip from the bag Sam was eating out of. Sam waved her hand across the kitchen, signaling _this_ was what she had done all day. Carly started to reply, but was interrupted by the front door opening. Freddie came in with a slightly horrified look on his face. He was carrying his laptop.

"Guys!" he exclaimed, making his way to the kitchen. He sat down at the table as well, and turned his computer around to where the two of them could see it, "I was looking at the poll results when I got home, and look!" Carly started to giggle a little and Sam stood up, kicking her chair.

"Damn idiots!" Sam scowled.

"Sam!" Carly laughed, "Those are our fans you're talking about!" _I knew I shouldn't have told them the dream_, Sam thought to herself. She walked over to the couch and slammed down on it.

"This doesn't mean anything, you know. It doesn't mean that Freddie is the one I have to kiss. We said that we were going to act a dream out, so that means _anyone_ could play Freddie's part," Sam said. She looked at Freddie and scowled.

"You're saying you'd rather kiss Gibby? Cause he helps us with iCarly a lot," Carly smiled. This was amusing. She didn't like seeing her friends so angry and upset, but she couldn't help but smile. She knew this would probably happen.

"Why don't _you_ just play my part, Carly?" Sam asked, "I'm sure nub there would _love _that," she reached for the remote, turning the tv on. Freddie rolled his eyes.

"You know I can't do that, Sam. It was _your_ dream after all. You need to be the one to play your part. And I think Freddie should be the one playing as himself. It's what the fans want anyway," Carly explained. Both of the teens were looking away from her, "Come on, guys. We're seventeen! Well, you two are anyway. But this shouldn't be such a big deal. You've been friends forever and you'd just be _acting_ like you're kissing. I mean, sure, you'd actually be kissing. But it would be as actors-"

"You're not making this any better, you know," Sam cut her off.

"Maybe she's right, Sam," Freddie suddenly added. Both of the girls jerked their heads toward him. Carly's eyes were big and Sam's mouth was open with a look that said, "seriously?"

"I mean, I don't _want_ to do it just as much as you do. But, like Carly said, the fans probably just voted this way because it's such a ridiculous thing that they could never see happening. Imagine all the hate mail we'd get if we had someone else playing us," Freddie explained to Sam. She still had the same look on her face.

"Please, Sam?" Carly gave her the best puppy dog eyes she could.

"Fine! Ok?" Sam shook her head, "Sheez. But I am _not_ actually kissing that nub until we go live. When we rehearse, _nothing_ is happening."

"Thank you!" Carly went over to Sam and hugged her. Sam patted Carly's back in a half-ass hug back. It was now that Sam realized she was enjoying being around Carly though. It definitely took her mind off of things and Carly's bubbly personality was actually putting her in a better mood, "So can we go rehearse now?"

"Whatever," Sam said, getting up. Carly took it as an "ok" and they all started heading toward the stairs.

"Now Sam, we're going to shoot the scene out in the hallway so that it can be as close to the real thing as possible, but we'll practice right here," Carly told her, flopping down upon a beanbag.

"What's this _we're_, you're not doing anything," Sam retorted.

"Wait, how is it going to be recorded?" Freddie questioned, since he was usually the one operating the camera.

"I'm going to do it! You just have to show me how to work some of the stuff on your cart is all," Carly replied. Freddie had an uneasy look. He didn't like anyone messing with his technical equipment. There were so many ways someone could mess it up.

"Well…" he looked from Carly and then to his cart and then back again, "Alright."

"Great! Let's get started. Sam, you go first. Pretend you're getting the call," Carly told her friend. Sam looked extremely uncomfortable, but took her cell phone out of her pocket anyway. She didn't really want to think about phone calls from the doctor's office right now.

"Hello?" Sam said into the phone, acting out her dream as she remembered it. She had such a bored tone though.

"Come on, Sam," Carly looked at her like she would look at a dog that's gotten into the garbage. Sam sighed.

"Hello?" Sam said again with more feeling. She continued to act out the conversation that she had had on the phone and pretended to send a text message, "So now what? I climbed out of my window at this part."

"Just pretend you're climbing out. We'll get Spencer to construct something for us," Carly said. Freddie was standing out of the way until it was his time to come on.

"So now I'm walkin'," Sam pretended to walk. She went through all the motions in her dream. It felt weird to her to be acting it all out. It felt as if her dream were coming true. Now it was Freddie's turn. Sam looked over at him and swung her arm upward, signaling that he should come in front of her. He walked over to her with a trademark Freddie smirk.

"Now what, Sam?" he asked her, knowing she was feeling uncomfortable with all of this. She glared at him.

"You ask me what's wrong and tell me you've been trying to text me," she grumbled, looking away from him. They said their lines as Sam remembered them. She then pretended she was crying, like in her dream, "You're…supposed to hug me now," she whispered, looking up at him, while still keeping her head pointed downward toward her feet. Freddie looked a tad nervous. He remembered a time before when he and Sam had hugged. She had given him a wedgie. He cringed, but decided he should go along with it anyway. He slowly put his arms around her and pulled her close.

"Now you say, 'please don't hit me, I just want to know what's wrong,'" she whispered. He did as told and then Sam wrapped her arms around him too. Sam was embarrassed now more than anything. She felt stupid for telling them the dream in the first place, but even more now that they were acting it out. She was realizing now that her dream probably seemed odd to Freddie and Carly. She laid her head onto Freddie's chest and mumbled, "I'm going to die," into his chest, "Freddie, what am I going to do? I'm going to _die_. They called me and told me I had a disease. There were so many things I wanted to do in life," she rehearsed her dream, remembering this part oddly well. She looked up from his chest at him. She was feeling a bit emotional at this point. Thinking about the actually call, she realized it was quite similar, but not as bad as dying. There were still so many things she had wanted to do in life that the real call was going to prevent her from doing. She was frowning and looking into Freddie's eyes. He looked genuinely worried. She was either a great actress or something was really upsetting her. He wondered which it was. He leaned down some, getting closer to her face. Sam stepped away from him, realizing what he was about to do.

"I said I wasn't doing that until we go live," She said, walking away from him and sitting beside of Carly. Sam still wore a frown.

"Sorry," Freddie said, feeling a bit bad. He followed her, and sat down in the third bean bag, "Are you ok, Sam?" Sam was silent for a second.

"Sam, it's been a couple days. Did you already get the call?" Carly asked Sam softly, scooting closer to her. Sam looked as if she were about to cry, but no tears came. She was stronger than that.

"Oh, yea," Sam replied. She even _sounded_ sad, "They just told me that I'd be fine and that the pain should go away soon," she lied, "I don't know. I guess the dream just felt kinda real and acting it out made me feel like I was actually dying," Sam had always been a great liar.

"I understand," Carly told her, and then reached over to hug the blonde girl. Freddie did the same. Sam didn't push him away. The sympathy from the both of them actually felt a little good right now.

"Thanks, guys," Sam smiled. Carly was such a great best friend. _Freddie is a really nice guy, too_, Sam thought, though never admitting it out loud.

They all sat in Carly's living room an hour or so after the scene that had happened with Sam upstairs. Sam was still in a horrid mood, but she was hiding it well by watching tv with her friends. They had asked Spencer, after he got back from the store, about making a window for the iCarly episode. He had happily agreed and asked what it was for. Sam and Freddie automatically walked away from that conversation and Carly had promised to tell her brother later.

So now they all sat on the couch watching whatever they could find that was slightly entertaining. It was almost 7:00.

"Are you guys looking forward to school ending next week?" Carly asked them.

"Do you even have to ask?" Sam said back, sipping juice from a juice box she had found in the refrigerator, "Ughhh! I'm so glad we only have one more year! Only about nine more months of school we have to put up with," Sam stretched out over her friends, with her head on Carly's lap and her legs on Freddie's. Carly smiled at her, just glad she was feeling better and Freddie chuckled a bit, moving his arms out from under her legs and lying his arms on top of them. Sam didn't seem to notice. Or didn't seem to care, either one. The lights were off besides the tv and the setting sun that was outside of the window. They could all hear a drilling noise coming from inside of Spencer's bedroom. Every once in a while there would be a bang, which would make them jump. They'd all settle back down when Spencer would yell, "everything's fine!" though. Once 8:00 rolled around, Freddie stretched his legs and arms out, still under Sam's legs. She'd gotten quite comfortable now though.

"I'd hate to disturb your obvious comfort, Sam," Freddie laughed, "but I better be getting back over to my apartment. My mom doesn't like me to stay out too late."

"Late?" Sam snorted, "It's 8:00, Fredly. That's not very late."

"You know how she is," he replied, rolling his eyes at the thought of his over-protective mother. And they _did_ know. She hadn't let up much, even though they were almost seniors.

"Well, I probably should get going too, anyway. I want to catch a bus before they stop running for the night," she explained.

"You're coming to school tomorrow, right?" Carly questioned her, worrying after the charade she pulled today being suddenly "sick."

"Yea, I promise," Sam answered.

"And we can rehearse more iCarly tomorrow?" Carly smirked at them. They both gave some nervous laughter and just headed toward the door, "Alright guys," she laughed, "I'll see you in the morning!" They all said their goodbyes, then Sam and Freddie left out of the door.

Freddie reached for his doorknob, but Sam grabbed his wrist.

"Hey," Sam half-whispered, "I really need to talk to you, ok?" Freddie gave her a strange look. Sam never acted this serious.

"Are you trying to trick me into doing something? Because-"

"No, seriously. Don't say anything to Carly, alright? I don't want to worry her. I just need a big favor from you," she paused, seeing the weird expression still on his face. She sighed, "No, I'm not trying to borrow money or anything like that. It's serious chiz this time. Do you think you could come with me to my house tomorrow after school?"

"Sam, I don't know. I really don't think-"

"Freddie," she looked him straight in the face, "I'm serious," he looked back at her. She really did seem to be serious. He wasn't going to completely trust what she was trying to do, but he had to give her a chance. She was one of his best friends after all.

"Alright, Sam. But you better not be pulling one on me. I'll tell my mom I'm going to The Groovy Smoothie after school. It's up to you to figure out something to tell Carly though. It's not me who's trying to hide stuff from my best friend," Freddie explained to her. He was hinting toward the past when Sam and him had agreed to have no more secrets with Carly.

"I know we said we'd all tell each other everything," Sam said, "but this will just worry her and I feel like you're the only person that can help me with this," Sam's voice seemed a bit lower and the sad tone was coming back. He couldn't help but feel bad for her.

"Ok, Sam. I'll meet you at your house tomorrow after school."

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**So I've gotta say: the poll results are interesting :) Only I know what they say though. No matter which direction this story goes it, I promise to make it interesting for both sides of the opinions. Oh, and certain parts in the story might make you think, "Oh, so she _is_ getting pregnant," or "Oh, so she's _not_ getting pregnant." And you really might believe one or the other is going to happen, but it's all a surprise and you won't know what's _really_ going to happen until the very end. So make sure you review and keep this story going! And happy late Halloween! Review and tell me what you were for Halloween; I'd love to hear all about your costumes and adventures :)**


	6. iNeed Your Help

**So I was a little disappointed to see I didn't get as many reviews on the last chapter as I usually do. Truthfully guys: is my story becoming uninteresting? Please let me know what I can change to make it better because people seem to be losing interest. It took me forever to write this chapter because I felt like quitting :( But thank you very much to all of you who did review. It means so much to me! Also, I'm selling Seddie shirts now on CafePress. Check out my profile on here to get the link!**

**Disclaimer: A silly man named Dan, who likes to cook eggs on random strangers' cars, owns iCarly.**

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Sam was sure that she'd never have a good dream ever again. It was now Friday night and she was fearful of falling asleep. Wednesday night, after she had talked to Freddie outside of his apartment, she had had terrible dreams. Then Thursday night, after Freddie had met her at her house, she had nightmares that night too.

Thinking about yesterday evening made her sick. Her mind flashed back to what had happened:

_It was 3:00 and school was ending. Sam felt a burning in her stomach for what she was about to do. Not only was she nervous, but she felt stupid. This was Freddie, _Freddie_, for God's sake. There was no denying he was a good guy though. Probably the best guy Sam knew. A nub, yes, but a good guy. And they were best friend, which would make things even easier. Sam had told Carly in sixth period, her last class, that she had somewhere to go with her mom. It was a good excuse too, because Pam was picking Sam up from school that day._

"_Oh, ok. We can just work on iCarly tomorrow then," Carly had said to her, "besides, Freddie has to be somewhere today too," Sam just smiled at Carly, knowing good and well where Freddie would be. And so now that school was over, Sam was climbing into the car with her mom._

"_I'm having a friend over today," Sam said to Pam._

"_Oh?" her mom replied, looking over at her. Sam used to sit in the backseat when she rode in the car with her mom, but after an incident where Pam got distracted and almost hit a fire hydrant, Sam decided it best to sit in the front in case she needed to grab the wheel, "Is it Carly?"_

"_No…" Sam knew what was coming next._

"_I didn't know you had any other friends," Pam replied, rudely._

"_I have _other_ friends," Sam said, pulling her phone out of her pocket and checking to see if she had any messages. None. After a second or two of silence, Sam continued, "Freddie's coming over," she looked out of the window to her right to keep her mom from seeing her face. Or maybe it was because Sam didn't want to see the look on _Pam's_ face._

"_You're having a _boy_ over?" Pam got a grin on her face. _

"_Yes, Mother," Sam responded, deciding to say no more. _If I had've been born with a mom who actually gave a crap, she'd be worried about me taking a boy into my room_, Sam thought. But no, this was Pam Puckett. Sam was thankful when they pulled up to their home. As soon as she opened the car door, she could almost feel the awkward air flowing out into the open air. _Thank God that's over_. Pam grabbed a shopping bag out of the back of the car and headed toward the house with it. Sam noticed it was from a well-known swimsuit store. She got a horrified look on her face, and dropped her backpack to ground once she got on the porch. Summer was indeed getting closer, and Sam just knew what was in that bag. It looked like she would be crashing at Carly's the next couple of days._

_Sam ran inside of the house and grabbed whatever sort of food she could find in the cabinets._

"_You need to go shopping!" Sam yelled to her mom in the living room._

"You_ need to cut your scraggly hair!" Pam hollered back._

"_Fuck you," Sam said under her breath, although she knew her mother hadn't meant it. Even though Pam kept her own hair cut short, Sam remembered she had always kept her _and _Melanie's hair long all through their childhood._

_Sam then walked back out of the house and sat down on the porch. Freddie would be there soon, assuming he took the bus. Sam wasn't sure about that one. What if he was walking? _Eh, it won't hurt the dork to walk a little_, she thought, shrugging her shoulders. Sam shoved some cheese crackers and a fat cake all into her mouth at once. Her cheeks were puffed out like a chipmunk, but oh, how it tasted _so_ good. Sam was trying not to think about what she was going to do. If she thought about it too much, she knew she'd chicken out and just tell him to leave. It was about this time that she saw him walking toward her house. She bit her tongue. With her chipmunked mouth shill showing, she swallowed down her food. He eventually reached her porch and looked down at her. She had crumbs all down her shirt and a half-eaten fat cake still on her lap._

"_Did you walk the whole way?" was Sam's first question._

"_I took the bus and got off at the bus stop down there," he replied, motioning down the street, "Thankfully it's close to your house."_

"_Yea, well, come on in," Sam said, taking the fat cake off of her lap and letting the cracker wrapper fall to the ground. She opened the door, "Just disregard my mom."_

"_Oh, don't worry about that," Freddie said to her, following her inside. Every time he'd been around Pam, she was rude. Not really mean, just obnoxious. Sort of like Sam. He remembered one of the first times he'd been around Sam's mom. She had made a comment to him about how he needed to stop standing in front of fans because his hair was looking a little windswept. _Just like Sam_, Freddie thought. It was amazing how the two could be so alike, but neither of them could get along with each other._

_They passed the living room and Pam didn't even notice. She was intent on watching MMA on the tv. It was almost scary how alike they were. Pam seemed to have more of a girly side than Sam did though. Maybe that's where Melanie's traits came in. They headed up the stairs toward Sam's room. Sam's house was pretty, and it was big. Freddie didn't know why he and Carly didn't hang out here more often. He could only assume it was because of Pam though. Sam and her mom had a very odd relationship._

_They finally reached Sam's door, which was covered in pictures of food. Freddie let out a chuckle, which he disguised as a cough. Sam was so predictable. She then opened her bedroom door and turned the light on._

"_Wow, Sam, clean room," he teased. It seriously was clean though. He never would've expected this out of her._

"_Melanie cleaned it the last time she was over. I just haven't been up here much anymore because I'm always at Carly's. I only come in here to sleep," she explained, sitting down in a bean bag she had in the middle of the floor. She had taken it from the iCarly studio a couple years back. Freddie sat down in a rolly chair that was in the corner. He rolled closer to where she was and bent over a little, with his elbows resting on his knees._

"'_Melanie,' right. You already admitted she wasn't real, remember? It's ok to admit you cleaned your room. But what was it you needed to talk to me about?" he asked, interested. Sam rolled her eyes at the Melanie comment, not wanting to argue._

"_Well, brace yourself, Fredweird. This is serious chiz. You have to promise you'll never tell anyone though," Sam looked serious. Freddie was now _really_ interested._

"_I promise," he said, taking on a serious look, himself. He hoped his friend was alright._

"_Not Carly, not your _mommy_, not anyone," she leaned in closer as if she were about to tell her biggest secret. Little did Freddie know that it actually was her biggest secret._

"_Sam, I won't, ok? If you're _this_ serious about it, why do you think I would tell anyone if you're asking me not to?" he questioned._

"_That's just it. Because it _is_ serious. You'll want to run and tell Carly as soon as you hear it because you won't want me to keep things from her," Sam accused._

"_I won't," was all he said. Sam looked at him intently for a moment, trying to read his face and see if he was truly serious. She sighed._

"_Alright. You're the only one that knows about this. And it's because I need your help. You're the only one that can help me, as stupid as it is to admit to," she looked away, feeling awkward staring at him while telling him, "I got the call from the doctor yesterday morning-"_

"_Serious? What did they say?" he cut in._

"_Well if you'd let me talk, I'd tell you!" she cut right back._

"_Sorry."_

"_So they said that I'm losing eggs, and fast. Apparently, they're going to be completely gone by the end of July and I'll never be able to have kids after that," Sam said, still looking away from him, "It's just kinda hard, you know? I may not seem like the type to care about something like that, but I think everyone imagines having their own kid one day. It was hard news to take. I thought about it a long time. Even now, guys see me as…" she paused, looking at him, "well, you know. They see me how I am. They all hate it too, Freddie. Every guy that comes into mine and Carly's lives always goes after her. Nevel, Griffin, Shane…you. And after July, it'll be even harder to find a guy that likes me the way I am," Freddie looked at her sadly, feeling terrible for his friend. _

_ "Why don't you want Carly to know?" Freddie asked her softly. _

_ "Because of what I just told you. I would have to explain how no guy wants me and I just know she'd feel bad for it. And it's not her fault, you know?" Sam said. _

_"I'm sorry, Sam. But how is it I'm the only one that can help you?" Freddie asked the question Sam was dreading to talk about. She took a big breath and braced herself. _

_"You know I think you're a dweeb and everything, but you're still my best friend, alongside Carly. Freddie," she rarely used his real name. He knew this was going to be big, "there's no way I'm going to be able to have a kid after July. It's always been a dream of mine, and there's no way I'm going to find a good guy," she waved her hands in the air at "good guy," and Freddie started to think he knew where this was going. He let her finish though, "that would 'give me a kid' if you catch my drift. There's no way I can go to the doctor and get pregnant artificially because that would require my mom. Freddie, do you see what I'm trying to say?" she felt like her face was burning off. _

_This is how true embarrassment felt. She'd never felt such an intense feeling in her entire life. _

_"I understand what you're saying, Sam. I just don't think I'm the right person for this. I mean, what would you tell your mom and Carly and everyone once everyone finds out?" Freddie asked. _

_"That's another thing. I'm not telling anyone. Not even you. That way your mom never has to find out either. You're the closest guy to me and I don't think this would change our friendship at all. We could just act like it never happened after I get pregnant. You can forget all about it and you never have to tell Carly your first time was with me. You never have to tell a soul, because I won't either. I just need this. And it feels like you're the only decent guy left in this world. If it actually happened, I mean…if I did…get pregnant, I would keep it a secret from everyone for as long as I could. And when I start to show, I could blame it on eating too much. My eighteenth birthday is in April, which is ten months from now. If it happens sometime in July, I'll be able to move out by the time I have the kid. You'll never have to see me again, ok? I'm going to get another job and I'm going to save up every dime to get an apartment for myself and to buy the things I'll need. Freddie, please. You're my only hope," Sam finished, looking down at her hands on her lap, like she had in her dream a few nights ago. _

_"Sam, you can't just give up everything. People would wonder about you and miss you," he could see Sam was really vulnerable at this point and he hated to see her that way, "This could ruin your future, Sam. What about college? What about us?" he asked her, getting off of the rolly chair and sitting in the floor next to her bean bag. _

_"What do you mean, 'what about us?'" Sam asked, still finding interest in her hands. _

_"Carly and me! And Spencer. You can't just leave us. Carly isn't going to think of you any differently if you're pregnant, Sam. You wouldn't have to hide it," he said, frowning. _

_"She would care if she knew it was yours though," Sam admitted. Freddie knew it was true. Carly wouldn't necessarily be mad, but she would freak out if she found out it was Freddie's. _

_"So we don't tell her it's mine then!" he explained. _

_"Does this mean you're agreeing?" Sam asked him, finding the courage to look up at him. He was a lot closer than he had been. There was a short pause as Freddie just looked her in the face, trying to read her; trying to find anything that might be hidden. _

_"I'll only agree if you agree to not shut yourself out of mine and Carly's life," he tried to compromise with her. _

_"Ok, so what about my mom?" Sam was considering the offer before her. _

_"She doesn't need to know," Freddie said, "Just keep it a secret. Like how you said you were going to do. Get that apartment you talked about. I'm sure Spencer could help you with the legal stuff until you turn eighteen. Just keep living with your mom until it's noticeable, ok?" Sam just nodded. She couldn't believe what she was about to do. She couldn't believe what Freddie was about to agree to do. _

_"I'm not telling Carly until she can notice," Sam said to him, "This is so awkward," she rolled her eyes, standing up off of the bean bag, "This is strictly business, got it?" she looked at Freddie in the eyes. He knew what she was talking about. He nodded. _

_"I got it. This means nothing other than helping you out to have a child," he re-iterated what she was trying to explain. Sam felt a bit disappointed at Freddie's words. She hadn't been looking for love in Freddie that evening, but his words reminded her that even though she might get a child that would love her, she would still never be able to share a romantic love with anyone. _

_"Hey, Frederly," she sat down on her bed. _

_"Yea?" he asked, following her. _

_"Thanks."_

_

* * *

_**I am SO sorry they're so OOC. I tried to keep them in character as best as possible, but it's hard with a situation like this. Again, there are big twists and turns in this story, so what you think might be happening, might not actually be happening.  
On another note, I had the best day ever last Monday. Jennette commented on my YouTube video I made of the concert, and then later that day, Reed Alexander tweeted me on Twitter. And just the other day, Jennette tweeted me on Twitter twice! I told my mom, "I'm going to have the whole iCarly gang talking to me by the end of the week." xD  
Please review and tell me what you'd like to see in the next few chapters (they're not written yet, so your idea may be considered). I want to thank you all so much for your support. Tell me what I could do better. I'm pretty sure I know where I'm going to go with the "pregnant or not" thing, but you have _no_ idea. Even considering this chapter ;)**


	7. iFeel Awkward

**Wow, I'm sorry. I know I usually post chapters in the morning on Tuesday, but I actually kinda procrastinated on this all week. I just now got done with it. I want to thank you all SO, SO much for all of the reviews. I'm sorry for complaining about it in the previous chapter, I promise I won't again. I really do appreciate you guys so much. Oh, and if you don't know, the reason it's still italicized is because this is still a flashback from Sam lying in her bed Friday night. I'd also like to thank The Hachi-chan, who informed me that they do iCarly on Friday nights. :)**

Disclaimer: Seddie belongs to Dan :) 

* * *

_The next day was awkward beyond belief. Sam couldn't seem to look Freddie's way in the least, and Freddie was no better. Sam just figured it would've been like their first kiss. Everything went back to normal the very next day with that. This was different though. It felt like something had changed. Carly was beginning to notice how weird they were acting. So at lunch, she decided she'd do something brave and ask them what their problems were. She sat in the middle of the two, who were both looking down at their food intently as if it were about to do a trick._

"_What's wrong with you guys?" Carly asked, looking from her left to her right at the two._

"_What do you mean?" Freddie said back, a little too quickly._

"_You guys haven't said a word all day," Carly stated._

"_I guess I'm just a little tired. My mom kept me up half of the night because she thought one of the neighbor's flea cats had gotten into our apartment," he explained, "She kept bursting into my room to search my bathroom and drawers," he pulled a fake yawn. Sam was surprised at his quick excuse. She didn't doubt that it actually happened though. Carly's eyes widened._

"_Was there really a cat in your apartment?" she asked._

"_Of course not. My mom's riding the crazy train," he took a drink of his milk. Sam couldn't help but smile. She could just imagine Ms. Benson running into his room at night, scaring the hell out of him._

"_Well what about you, Sam?" Carly turned to her left to look at the blonde-headed girl. Now it was her turn for an excuse._

"_My mom threw a party last night," Sam lied, "I guess I'm just tired too. I'm fine though."_

"_You should've come spent the night with me," Carly said, looking at her friend sympathetically. _

"_Yea. I was just too lazy to move though."_

"_Well, I hope you guys wake up by the time school is over, cause we're doing iCarly live tonight, remember?" she seemed way too excited. Freddie choked on his milk, and Sam cracked a smile at it. She was dreading doing iCarly too, but she had remembered it, unlike Freddie, "Are you ok?" Carly laughed._

"_Yea," he coughed, "drinking," cough, "too fast," Sam knew he was probably remembering the awkwardness of yesterday. She didn't know why kissing would be such a big deal now. Possibly because it would be in front of thousands of people. This would be their second kiss. Well, third to Freddie, since he still didn't believe in Melanie. But this being their _second_ kiss made it slightly easier. They would just have to pretend no one was watching. It had been over three years since their first though._

_The school day went by too fast for Freddie. Now, as he was getting into his mother's car, he felt his stomach churn. It wasn't that he thought Sam was gross or anything. If he felt that way, he never would've kissed her in the first place…or agreed to help her out in her desperate situation. The reason he felt sick was because he knew how many iCarly viewers there were. And he also knew almost everyone at school watched it as well. After this show of iCarly, he felt there would be rumors flying everywhere. He didn't mind the rumors himself; he was worried about Sam though. He knew that if rumors about the two of them started circulating, because of the kiss they were about to share live on the show, Sam would be furious. Furious Sam meant more fights. And if she were to actually be pregnant like she wanted, fighting wouldn't be good for her. Sam couldn't control her anger or violence, he knew that firsthand._

_When they finally arrived at Bushwell Plaza, Freddie was sure he was going to be sick. He needed to talk to Sam about fighting. He needed to warn her that there would be rumors and the dangers of fighting while carrying a child. _If_ she even was. There was a very big chance she wasn't pregnant because of the fact that she was _losing_ eggs, not gaining._

"_Freddie, you haven't said a word the whole way here!" his mother said to him, worried. She immediately pulled a thermometer out of her pocket. Nothing surprised him anymore, "You're sick!" she claimed before she shoved the thermometer in his mouth._

"_I'm fine, Mom," he said before taking the thermometer out of his mouth, "just tired. It was a long day."_

"_I'm just going to take your temperature anyway, ok?" she sounded truly worried. Freddie sighed and put the thermometer back in his mouth. It wasn't hurting him any, so he might as well just give her the pleasure of knowing that he wasn't running a fever._

_They got onto the elevator after an awkward glance from Lewbert. Things had never been the same between Lewbert and Ms. Benson after their short relationship. Freddie was just glad Lewbert didn't yell and carry on at him when he was with his mother. And even more glad that he didn't have to live with the wretched man._

_They stepped off of the elevator and onto the eighth floor just as the thermometer made a beep. Freddie took the thermometer out of his mouth and handed it to his mother, knowing he had no fever._

"_Oh, thank God! You're fine!" she yelled, unlocking the door._

"_Yea. Hey, I've got iCarly to do this evening, so I'm just going to head on over there, ok?" he said to his mother._

"_None of the…fleas…have escaped over to their apartment have they?" Ms. Benson looked entirely too serious, as she whispered the word "fleas," as if it were the plague._

"_No, Mom, their apartment is extremely clean and flea-free," he assured her, taking a step toward the Shays' door._

"_Be careful please," she told Freddie. And with that, he opened the door to 8=C._

"_Hey, I'm-" he stopped, noticing the huge mess of rock everywhere. He had just been telling his mother that the Shays had a clean apartment. She'd have heart failure if she knew he'd lied, "What happened here?" he asked Carly, who had just reached the bottom of the steps._

"_Oh," she laughed, "Spencer. He finally finished his rock koala. He's really proud of it, so he strapped it to the back of his bike and went to show Socko. I _assume_ he'll clean this mess up when he gets home. He said he'd be back in time to help with the iCarly props tonight."_

"_I…see," he said, shaking his head at Spencer's silly antics, "So where's Sam?"_

"_Oh, she's upstairs. I told her it was probably you who opened the door, so she said she'd just wait there," Carly told him._

I figured as much_, he thought,_ this has got to stop_. He and Carly walked up the stairs to the iCarly studio and Freddie saw Sam sitting on a bean bag eating eggs. She glanced up at him and then quickly looked back down._

"_Hey, Sam?" he suddenly said. She jumped a little at the sound of her name leaving his mouth._

"_Yea?" she replied, still looking at her eggs that she was stabbing._

"_Can I talk to you for a second?" he asked. Carly looked immensely confused as she glanced back and forth between the two._

"_What do you need, Fredlumps?" she shoved some cheetos, that had been hidden behind the bean bag, into her mouth._

"_I just have a question. Can we talk out in the hallway though?" he glanced over at Carly and saw the confused look she was wearing. He knew she'd be hurt if she thought he and Sam were keeping secrets from her, so he added, "It's kind of a surprise. Sorry, Carly," Sam got up without saying anything, handing her mostly-eaten plate of eggs to Carly._

"_Can you hold this? Thanks, Carls," Sam said to her friend, and then following Freddie out into the hallway._

"_We've got to stop acting like this, Sam," he said seriously, "everyone is worrying."_

"_What do you mean?"_

"_I mean how we can't look each other in the face and how we've both been so quiet today. I know we both feel weird about what happened, but it _is_ what you wanted. I mean, we can't continue on like this," he explained._

"_You think I don't know that? It's just difficult. I've never been in any kind of situation like this before. And I'm supposed to hate you. How else am I supposed to act?" she looked away from him and in through the door at Carly, who was now sitting down, still holding the eggs._

"_I know. It's difficult for me too. And you know I've never been in a situation like this either. We just have to accept the fact that we…" he trailed off, "but it was strictly business, remember? We just need to act like it never happened," Sam felt a sinking feeling in her stomach. Her brow furrowed as she tried to figure out why. She felt so stupid. It was almost like she felt sad that Freddie had said they should forget it happened._

"_Whatever," she said, responding with anger._

"_Sam," he began, "I didn't mean it like _that_. I mean, we shouldn't forget it happened. The fact that it happened might be the very thing that changes your entire life. I just don't want us to keep being awkward around each other," he explained. Sam didn't know it, but Freddie had seen the hurt on her face._

"_Fine. We'll continue on the same. No more awkward," she said, grabbing the door knob._

"_Good," he responded, looking relieved. Sam then turned around and punched him in the stomach, hard; it knocked the breath out of him, "What the…" he coughed, "hell, Sam!"_

"_You said we should continue on the way we were," she smiled, opening the door to the studio._

* * *

"_In five, four, three, two~" Freddie pointed at the two girls in front of him._

"_I'm Ylrac!"_

"_And I'm Mas!"_

"_And this is iCarly!" they both yelled, after having said their names backwards._

"_Today we have a really special show!" Carly announced._

"_Yea, if you remember, earlier this week, you all voted on whose dream you wanted us to act out," Sam continued._

"_And the winner is…Sam!" Carly finished. Sam pushed the cheering button on her remote when Carly said her name._

"_And I'm not happy about that at all!" Sam exclaimed, smiling._

"_Now, Freddie is going to show you a clip of a boy trying to buy candy with quarters that are glued to his nipples while we set up the first scene!" Carly said into the camera. Freddie walked over to his cart and displayed the video onto the screen. As soon as he did, Carly yelled for Spencer as all three of them scrambled to set things up. Spencer came bursting through the door as Carly and Freddie dragged a twin-size bed, that was sitting on a virtually weightless bed frame, out onto the floor. Spencer brought out a table, which they set beside of the bed. They set up the window that Spencer had made and then turned off the lights, except for the lamp they had placed upon the table. While that was going on, Sam was changing into something similar to what she had been wearing in her dream: pajama shorts and a tank top. She then sat on the edge of the bed, facing the camera, with her phone in her hand._

_After all was set up, which had taken a max of five minutes and lots of sweating, Freddie walked back over to his cart and took it off of the video, which had just finished. At this point, Sam began to act. She acted like she was answering her phone and went through everything that she remembered saying and doing in her dream. After pretending to send the text message, she started climbing out of the window Spencer had made._

_At this point, Freddie switched the screen to a picture that said "Please enjoy this video while we set up for scene two." And he proceeded to play a video of a guy seeing how many marshmallows he could shove into his mouth._

"_Ok, we've got five minutes to get this cart downstairs into the hallway in front of my apartment. Once we're down there, Spencer, you need to start near the stairs and elevator to make sure no one comes through while we're filming. Carly, I'll need you to record," Freddie told them all quickly, as they pushed his cart out the door. They had a terrible time trying to get it down all of the stairs in a hurry, just as they had before when they were trying to win that world record. They made it to the hallway with thirty seconds to spare. Freddie hurriedly handed his camera to Carly, "You know how to use it, righ-"_

"_Yes!" she said._

"_Are you su-"_

"_Yes! Now get over there and wait for Sam!" Carly told him, pointing toward his door, where Sam would appear shortly. Freddie went over to his door quickly, and then Carly switched the camera back on. Sam came walking around the corner, looking terribly sad._

"_What's wrong, Sam? I've been texting you trying to find out. You haven't answered any of them," Freddie asked her, putting his best "worried" face on._

"_Oh…" Sam kept looking at the ground with a frown on her face, "Sorry, I guess I didn't feel my phone vibrate," Freddie looked at her phone, which was in her hand._

"_Did you walk all the way here? The buses don't even run at this time!" he whispered to her._

"_I don't know, Freddie…" Sam made her voice sound like she was about to cry and she looked up at him. Carly raised her eyebrows. She was surprised at how good of an actress Sam was._

"_Sam, please, what's wrong? You never act like this. Why did you need me to meet you here?" he stepped closer to her, "Are you crying, Sam?" She looked at her feet now, with her bangs covering her face. A fake, but realistic sob escaped her mouth and Freddie looked closely at her. He saw a tear come from her eye and hit her foot. Carly's eyes widened. Was she really crying? Freddie moved forward and hugged her, "Please don't hit me for this. I just want to know what's wrong, ok?" Sam slowly inched her arms around his back, and hugged him in return, her head leaning against his chest. She muffled her words into his shirt, "What, Sam?" Freddie asked, pulling away._

"_I'm going to d-die," Sam's tears were falling faster now, "Freddie, what am I going to do? I'm going to die. They called me and told me I had a disease. There were so many things I wanted to do in life…" Freddie was silent and Sam looked up at him "Everything's going to be alright," he said, leaning closer to her. He was a bit afraid to kiss her, but he had to. They were live. He slowly leaned in more, and Sam moved her face toward him. He placed his lips on hers and gave her a soft kiss._

Her lips are smooth like they used to be_, he thought. _Besides being obnoxious and mean, Sam would probably make a really good girlfriend. _If_ she were nice like this all the time_. He knew that was impossible for Sam though and he felt terrible for her because he didn't think anyone would ever understand her as deeply as he and Carly did. He feared that she'd never be able to get close to anyone as she had with her two best friends. _It's sad, because she's actually kinda beautiful_…_

* * *

**The videos that Freddie played are actually inspired by some videos by MattG124 on YouTube. He's _such_ a funny guy. You should check him out! So I've been getting into Twitter more lately and meeting lots of new Seddie friends on there :) If you have a Twitter, make sure to review with your Twitter name so I can follow you! Oh, and I've noticed a lot of people have been changing their minds about whether Sam should get pregnant or not, so I've put up a new poll on my page, asking the same question as before. I'd love it if you'd go vote again so I can get a more accurate reading :) Review with some ideas for what you'd like to see (because I'd LOVE to have some help with ideas). Who's excited for iStart a Fan War this Friday? I know I am :) I even made a Seddie paddle for the event. You can see that on my Twitpic account :) Thanks for reading!**


	8. iCan't Take Her

**So I was gonna wait until I finished writing this story before I updated, but I got too excited. So here's chapter eight!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own.**

* * *

"_You guys, that was a great show tonight!" Carly told her friends that night after iCarly was over._

_ "Thanks," Freddie replied, "We got the most ratings we've ever had," he felt uneasy about that statement though. That meant more people from the school had probably been watching. He was thankful that next week was the last until summer though. He decided he'd talk to Sam when they left Carly's. He'd explain to her about fighting and remind her that there would be only one week left._

_ "Wonderful," Sam said in reply to Freddie's statement about the viewers, "Well, at least the whole world that doesn't go to our school knows you've kissed a girl now," Sam remembered how pretty much their entire school had seen him kiss Carly. And those who hadn't seen it, had heard about it. She knew the school had probably assumed Carly was his first kiss after that. It shouldn't have, but it made her feel a bit angry. She had been his first kiss, and no one except Carly and Spencer knew about it._

_ "So what're we going to do now?" Carly asked them._

_ "Actually," Sam said, standing up from the kitchen chair, "I really should be getting home."_

_ "Why don't you just stay here tonight?" Carly suggested. Sam thought for a minute._

_ "My mom promised to bring home chicken this afternoon," Sam lied. She wished her mom was bringing home chicken. But Sam really just needed some time to think about things._

_ "Alright," Carly laughed at her friend's immense love for chicken, "What about you, Freddie? You wanna stay and poke at Spencer with me?" She was referring to the passed out Spencer in the middle of the living room floor. He had spent several sleepless nights lately working on his sculpture, and he had fallen asleep before making it to the couch, right after iCarly had gotten done._

_ "I guess I should head home too," Freddie didn't bother with an excuse. He'd given too many lately and he hated lying to his brown-headed friend so much. _I've really got to stop leaving at the same time as Sam though. Carly is going to start thinking something's going on_, Freddie thought. He then chuckled a bit, thinking of what his mind had just said. Technically, there was something going on, but he still didn't want Carly to know that, for Sam's sake anyway. _

_ "Alright then. We should all do something tomorrow then," Carly offered._

_ "Sounds good, Carls," Sam smiled at her friend. There was a short silence, before Carly spoke up._

_ "Hey, Sam, did you really start crying tonight during iCarly?" Carly said this softly, knowing that it might be a touchy topic._

_ "Pshh, come on, kid. Mama was faking it. You never knew I was such a good actress, did you?" Sam smiled, walking toward the door._

_ "I can't say I did," Carly laughed, "So I'll see you guys tomorrow?"_

_ "Yea, text me with some plans. I'm too lazy to think about what to do tomorrow. I'll let you decide," Sam explained._

_ "Alright, I'll text you and Freddie both and let you guys know something," and with that, Sam and Freddie were out the door at the same time, once again._

_ "Sam," he said quietly as soon as the door was closed. She turned toward him and raised her eyebrows, "Can I talk to you for a second before you go?" Sam felt her heart jump a little._

_ "Sure, Freddicle," Sam turned toward him and crossed her arm, leaning her weight on one leg. She looked more girly doing that stance, but Freddie would never tell her that for the fact that he sort-of liked living at the moment._

_ "It's about…you know," he nodded toward her stomach that may or may not have anything growing within it. She nodded, looking a little bored. She hated having to wait for things, "Well, Sam, I figure after tonight's show, you and I might be getting a lot more attention from people that want to comment on the kiss. I just want you to know that if you are…you know-"_

_ "Pregnant. It's ok to say the word," she smirked._

_ "Right." he laughed nervously a bit, "Anyway, I just don't want you to get into any fights because of what people might say about us after this show. It's not good to fight if you're…pregnant," it felt like he had just said a curse word. Sam just stared at him for a second and started laughing._

_ "You really think I'm going to get into a fight because of something someone _says_ about the two of us? I could care less what they think," Sam expressed._

_ "I know, I just thought it might upset you more because it was about you and _me_," he said, emphasizing the _me_, "Plus, I was just wanted to make sure you wouldn't."_

_ "It's not going to upset me, even if it's about you, dork," she smiled, and he smiled back at her typical nickname for him, "You're not that bad of a guy. Besides, I'm not stupid: I know fighting while pregnant isn't smart," she punched his arm lightly. Freddie was still smiling at her._

_ "Thanks, Sam," he stared at her wondering what to say next. She just continued to look at him. For some reason that Freddie believed he'd never be able to explain, he moved closer to her and gave her a short embrace. His only reasoning he could think of was that, _she looked like she needed it_. _

_Sam _did_ look a bit taken aback, but instead, she just laughed a little and turned around to leave._

"_What's so funny?" he asked her as she was slowly walking away._

"_Nothing, Freddie," she laughed again, turning the corner. He stood there puzzled watching her walk away._

Sam was now brought back to reality from her thoughts of the past three days. She lay in her bed, finally turning over ready to try to sleep. She glanced at the radio beside her bed, contemplating turning it on. She decided she would; it might help her sleep. She lazily reached over her bed and turned the radio on, then leaned back over and closed her eyes. The sound reached her ears.

* * *

_My heart booms at the speed of light_

_But the exit sign's always on my mind_

_Always in my sight_

_I can say that I really want to stay_

_But the devil inside always wins the fight_

_Always gets his way_

Sam felt herself getting a bit more tired, _I've never heard this song before,_ Sam thought.

_Jump out the window, gotta get out on the highway_

_When things are getting too attached I need an escape_

_I'm seeing stars and there is nothing more that I hate_

_Baby, there's something that I gotta say:_

_It sounds nice though_, Sam turned onto her back.

_It's disgusting how I love you_

_I can't take it, I should hate you_

_Cause you're messing up my name_

_Gotta walk my talk, my fame_

_But I just wanna touch your face_

_It's disgusting._

_It's disgusting how you changed me_

_From a bandit to a baby_

_Think I might gotta change my name_

_If I'm gonna walk this walk of shame_

_Look at what you do to me, it's disgusting…_

* * *

_ Sam was at school in her dream. There weren't very many people there for some reason and she was cold. She wondered where Carly and Freddie were. She didn't know where her backpack was, but frankly didn't really care. She set off down the hallway in search of them. Everywhere she looked she say exit signs over every door. She finally ran into Carly. Sam opened her mouth to talk,_

_ "I'm seeing stars and there's nothing more that I hate," Sam said and immediately got a horrified look on her face. _What the fuck?_ That wasn't what her mind had wanted to say._

_ "Chapter by chapter, you're falling faster and faster," Carly replied to her, smiling widely. She then moved by Sam's side and pushed the blonde's back lightly, motioning her to walk farther down the hallway. Sam stumbled forward a bit and then turned around to look at her friend and Carly was gone. Sam turned back around and started walking back down the hallway, still seeing the exit signs. She contemplated taking one of them, but decided against it when she saw a door at the very end of the hallway with the brightest exit sign. She picked up her pace until she almost ran into someone who seemed to appear out-of-nowhere: it was Freddie._

_ "I'm still right here, more or less," Freddie said to her. None of this made much sense to Sam, especially what she said next to him._

_ "It's disgusting how I love you. I can't take it, I should hate you. Look at what you do to me; it's disgusting," Sam's hands shot over her mouth and she opened her mouth to take back what she said._

Sam woke herself up saying, "I didn't mean to say that." She looked over at the clock and saw that it was 10:00AM. This was early for her, but she decided she'd get up anyway; _At least it wasn't a _bad_ dream. Maybe I should listen to music before bed more often_. That was the first night she hadn't had nightmares in a few days.

She moved her hand around her bed looking for her phone. She fell asleep with it often and it ended up behind her bed, up her shirt, and God-knows where else when she woke up. She finally found it at the foot of her bed, tangled up in blankets and laid it in her lap. She looked up at her wall and scratched the back of her tangly head. She felt her phone vibrate on her lap and looked down to see it was Melanie calling. Sam _really_ didn't feel like Melanie that morning, so she just let it ring.

Sam was then brought back to her dream. She began to wonder why she'd been having so many dreams about Freddie lately and then blamed it on the current situation. Her phone vibrated once again, this time a text message. She looked down and saw who it was. _Speak of the devil,_ she thought. It was _think_ of the devil actually. Freddie had texted, "Do you want to meet Carly and me at the Groovie Smoothie?" So Sam texted back, "Ok, see you there."

Sam got into the shower because she felt like she was in desperate need of one. The warm water felt nice. Her house was cold for some reason even though it was June. She figured her mom had turned the air conditioner down too low again. As she thought about it being June, her mind was brought back to what was going to happen at the end of July and it made her stomach hurt. It had only been two days since the incident between Freddie and her, but she was already anxious to find out some answers. _Wait_, she thought, _how long do I even have to wait before I can take a test?_ She knew absolutely nothing about things like that. She knew she couldn't ask Carly and her laptop had broken a couple weeks ago when she threw it at Freddie. _I guess I'll just have to wait_, the thought to herself shrugging.

She was done taking a shower after a few more minutes and was then thankful for the air conditioner.

"Jesus!" she yelled; she felt like she was burning up from the hot water and instantly regretted turning the water heat up so high. Sam wrapped a towel around her and quickly rushed out of the sauna-like bathroom and into her room, opening a window. She quickly slung her head forward and shook it like a dog with rabies. She had always had a theory that doing such a routine after getting s shower would make her hair dry faster. After bringing her head back to a straight level and grasping onto her rolly chair for support from the dizziness, she noticed her phone was lit up on her bed. She made her way over to the device and picked it up, noticing the two missed calls: Melanie. "What the hell is she so persistent for?" Sam asked herself. She contemplated asking her mother if Melanie had tried to call her too, but she knew it would do no good because she could the woman's snores coming from downstairs, "I'll call her back later."

About an hour and several texts asking, "where are you?" later, Sam finally showed up at the Groovie Smoothie to meet her friends. She saw then sitting at a table and they smiled at her as she walked in.

"Hey Carls," she said to Carly, sitting down beside of her. She then looked at Freddie, "Sup?" she nodded his way.

"Hey Sam," Carly greeted her, "Have you talked to Melanie yet? She called me and said she'd been trying to get ahold of you this morning. She said she had something to talk to you about. I asked her what it was, but she said she was going to tell you first," she laughed with a puzzled look on her face. Freddie just sat by shaking his head, smiling.

"Something funny, Benson?" Sam snapped at him.

"Melanie," he waved his hands in the air. Sam had forgotten that he still didn't believe in her. She smirked at this and whipped her phone out of her pocket.

"Alright then, let's just give Melanie a call back then. I was avoiding talking to her, because I really don't feel like her girly bullshit today, but I'm going to prove a point to Fredlumps here," Sam stated, dialing Melanie's number. The phone rang for a second before a bubbly voice answered.

"Hey Sammmm!"

"Sup, Melanie. Whatcha need?" Same said, bringing the conversation short and to the point. After saying this, she punched a button on her phone to turn the speaker on.

"I'm so excited, Sam. Guess what?" Melanie replied.

"Just spit it out already."

"I'm coming to stay during the summer!" she squealed back to Sam. Sam had been watching Freddie's face the whole time but he seemed unfazed by the ecstatic girl on the other line. Sam sighed.

"Alright, Mel. See you then," she said quickly, hanging up on her sister.

"Sam! That was rude. Poor Melanie!" Carly scolded her friend, taking out her own cell phone to text the twin. Freddie kept smiling like an idiot.

"I can't take that girl for a whole summer!" Sam said, scratching her head swiftly with both of her hands. She looked up and saw some salt and smacked it off the table, "Fuck salt!" This got both of her friends' attention and they both snickered a bit at her outburst. Several people looked at their table and the spilled salt on the floor.

"It'll be alright, Sam. You haven't been around Melanie this much in years. You never know, you might like her a lot better now," Carly reassured her.

"Do you guys just pick random days to mess with me, or- ?" Freddie was suddenly cut off.

"Just shut up, Benson! You heard the priss herself on the phone. This is no joke," Sam retorted. If Sam had've been any other emotion except mad, Freddie may have considered pressing the two of them further about the matter, but he felt he should go along with it for the time being.

"Fine," he raised his hands in the air, giving up. He knew he'd see the truth soon enough.

"I think I'm going to go home. Clear out the spare room for Melanie," Sam said to her friends, getting up. Carly and Freddie frowned at her. She was obviously upset. Carly had seen Sam upset about Melanie coming over before, but never this upset. She assumed it was because it would be for such a lengthy time.

"Alright, Sam. Text us, ok?" Carly said to her friend, putting her hand on Sam's arm, looking at her.

"Sure, Carls," and Sam was out the door. Freddie looked over at Carly with a concerned look on his face.

"I think I'm gonna go with her to check on her, ok?" he said to Carly, also getting out of his seat. He laid a few dollars down on the table for his smoothie. Carly smiled and nodded at him, and then he was after her.

* * *

**Tell me what you thought guys :) Seriously, every review just makes me want to write more and more. The fuck salt thing came from the tourettes guy as some of you might know. Like my use of "Disgusting"? I love that song by Miranda.**

**Reviewwwwwwwww please?**


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